Busy week of places of worship, alternatives to mine.
- My shul, Saturday Morning, worship
- Episcopal Church, urban area that has seen better days, Saturday evening, concert
- My former synagogue, part of city where few Jews live, Sunday afternoon, guest lecturer
- Traditional Congregation in posh area of distant city, historical legacy, Saturday morning, worship
- Presbyterian Church, distant city, middle-class suburban, Saturday afternoon, reception
All different, mostly different purposes. Some familiar to me, others part of my more distant travels. Some eagerly awaited attendance, others more grudging, purpose-driven attendance. Using my familiar synagogue as the anchor, the other four sites, with my experiences there, expose what might be possible. And some of our practices, particular to us, have their own superiorities not always appreciated until placed next to an active alternative.
Given a yellow pad with erasable pencil and assigned to create a synagogue teeming with my druthers, not subject to vetoes of clergy or Dominant Influencers, or even majority votes, my final product would have some features of mine, perhaps less focused on a legacy once more glorious than current circumstances. Each of the other four brings something to that yellow pad.
The Episcopal church has an active music program. They hire a full-time music director. Many Christian churches depend on music to engage people, to create a spirit. It sometimes comes at a price when those in attendance sway to the music but never acquire significant literacy with either of their Testaments. Still, the music there has elegance that we cannot hope to duplicate, or even want to duplicate. Generous donors enabled restoration of my state's largest pipe organ. They named it in memory of the sweetest pediatrician, a church member who became a dominant presence in our local medical world when women of that professional stature were scarce. Organ specialists from
Warrensburg MO, halfway across America, came to guide the organ's assembly and its majestic sound. The music director auditions participants to ensure that musical skill exceeds a threshold. The concert that I attended attracted musicians from the community as well as the church. Difficult music in more than one language. A detailed program with some advertising, solicitation of donors, and expert bios of key performers. An amateur musical historian outlined each piece and its composer.
This church sits at the edge of a neglected part of town, a few blocks walk from a dangerous neighborhood. Like my synagogue, it is a merger of churches from times past. Its building is worn, parking adequate for the occasion, though people still need to find space on nearby streets. They hosted a reception after the concert. I had made 48 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies as a contribution, while others provided a mixture of sweet and savory handhelds. The congregation has a recognizable political element, as the Palestinian flag that greeted committed Zionist me when I checked in caught my immediate attention. At each concert, the chorale provides a feedback sheet to assess who attends demographically, motivations to attend, and other comments. My own remark about expanding beyond European/American choral music was taken seriously, with this concert including a popular Israeli song. It toned down that flag, but I still questioned its propriety in my comments.
What might I import? We have a volunteer choir, restricted to males. At one time, we supported a mixed choir that performed as entertainment once a year, never as liturgy, but very much part of my
shul's signature events. We do not take feedback seriously, a reality of a culture with a few Dominant Influencers who I think really believe any practices not their own are inferior. For religious dietary restrictions, we cannot have random people bringing potluck food. We sort of have a political stance centered around Zionism and support of a modern nation state with unchallenged Jewish sovereignty. Within that framework, though, we have much diversity. We also have former members who have made
Aliyah to Israel We also have children of current and former members living there and subject to the Israel Defense Forces universal draft. While none have been reported a casualties, we are aware of the realities. Some members are rather cavalier supporting an aggressive offense as the most effective defense. Others are more acculturated to making win-win deals, limited primarily by a suitable partner. Some members are MAGA and
ZOA, more are registered Democrats who wince a bit at anti-Semitism from the left. Many of our members have degrees from those elite campuses where the taboo on anti-Semitism has been lifted. But as a congregation, we are neither Red nor Blue. In Jewish tradition, we fall more toward analysis of the possibilities. But the Israeli flag remains in a secure position at the front of our sanctuary and at all off-site events that we sponsor.
Often the harshest comments fall on the organizations that one has defected for cause. Places that nominally share your heritage, sense of tribe, your manner of thinking, yet have a leadership on site and enthroned centrally that betray core personal aspirations. The shul where I attended the lecture reflects that mixture of admiration for some things, but enough repulsion to others to relocate my synagogue affiliation after seventeen years there, with some visible positions along the way. While Rabbis have come and gone, most personable, the
macher-dominated influencers of old have been cloned as proteges. I go there for worship maybe once a year, less now that they put bouncers at their front door to gatekeep those not registered with their office in advance. After my congregation sold its building, they housed us there. Their chapel was fine for worship, the people I encountered most weeks were cordial. They have more money than we do, helped out by a few members of serious wealth. And if we needed a tenth man, they never hesitated to provide one. While not mistreated, we were clearly tenants. It took no time for our officers and Rabbi to realize that we preferred finding our own place over renewing our lease.
Yet as I walked around the interior, I could see that they had useful undertakings. When people walk into their entryway, where our Kiddush would be held, they could see alphabetized boxes of name tags with lanyards. They felt it important that their people, whether regular or sporadic, prominent or obscure, have people address them by name. At the entry door stands a big flat screen displaying the Shabbos program and upcoming events. At one time, our congregations were of comparable size. Over decades, each has contracted, ours far more than theirs. They have a spectrum of ages, including children and families in their prime years. As a result, they have organized subdivisions with social activities as well as learning initiatives. Multigenerational without really being intergenerational. They lack members with the level of observance and liturgical skills that we have, but they are an educated collection of people who understand Jewish history and culture, as well as people who engage with the community's less fortunate on a much larger scale than our members do. Yet the sting of the mistreatment of people very dear to me has remained in the background, nominally forgiven but indelible in its own way.
I go there for events. This time a big one. While we think of Orthodox congregations like mine as defenders of formality, the Conservatives have their institutional norms and tiered agencies as well. New Rabbis for the past thirty years or so undergo an Installation. This occurs over a weekend, with a committee of important people designing a program. Elements of solemnity, elements announcing importance not only of the new Rabbi but of dignitaries from elected officials to people of public recognition in the national Jewish scene. Their committee invited one of America's premier contemporary Jewish scholars. I listen to his podcasts or TV interviews with some frequency. While I'd be willing to pay to hear his presentation, this time the committee offered the chance for free. It turns out, when the new Rabbi, the son of an interfaith marriage, made his first advance to a career as a Jewish professional, the guest speaker, also a man of obscurity but immense potential, guided the not yet Rabbi for a summer. Over time, both succeeded grandly. His mentor came to the synagogue for a Sunday afternoon.
Only two people from my synagogue attended. The attendance from the host congregation seemed an older cross-section of their composite. The Installation Committee made sure sweets and drinks in abundance sat on tables at the perimeter of their auditorium while people sat at tables facing the stage. I greeted the people I know, but as I usually do at gatherings of this type, opted for a table with people I did not know. The presentation did not disappoint. A man of great insight. Following brief remarks, the guest and the new Rabbi engaged in a Q&A with each other. Time for questions was not allotted, but I could not let this opportunity go by without asking the scholar about something I had heard from him on one of his podcasts. Only three people of an attendance of about a hundred approached him. He answered my query in the expected thoughtful way. I got some layer cake, ate it quickly, drank nothing, and then headed home. A fully satisfying afternoon.
By week's end, I flew to another part of America for a family event. I once lived there fifty years back. My son lived there much more recently, married a young woman whose family lived there, thus the location of this event. While there as a student,
Hillel was my Jewish anchor. The students had a loose connection to an Orthodox synagogue nearby, which I visited a few times with other students. The Hillel Rabbi became a friend, particularly after he accepted another directorship not far from me. I invited him to my congregation as guest speaker shortly before his tragic passing in a freak accident. I never attended any other mainstream synagogue other than Friday night service at a Reform congregation near my hotel when I returned to the city for a conference.
One synagogue of interest, maybe the only one of interest, passed me by. I never worshipped there as a student, yet knew of its pioneering presence. On return visits, a few over the decades, I never had both a Saturday morning off and a car to get there. This congregation still exists in a form very similar to my home shul. In the mid-1960s, many of the social restrictions placed on American Jews by the Christian majority's upprer crust had broken down. We often had premier educations, making us attractive to employers and the professions. Restrictive covenants on houses either disappeared or became legally unenforceable. Many Jews acquired prosperity and professional stature starting a few decades before, but becoming more commonplace. Jews in that city lived in a particular enclave not far from the dominant university. As businesses expanded westward, followed by luxury housing, a Jewish professional community established itself. While all but a few could have commuted to the established congregations, at that time clustered near the university, enough wanted their own location, one that would hybrid Orthodox and observant Conservative traditions. They opted for independence from an umbrella organization.
The congregation thrived over the years. More of the Jewish population moved westward, as did some of the established affiliated synagogues. The new congregation invested in its own campus. While Jewish demographics changed, so did accepted practices among those suburbanites. Jewish neighborhood enclaves became harder to define. Most importantly, the role of women in worship and congregational governance became the norm for most congregations with secular membership. This congregation did not follow that trend. While offering worshipers the option of gender separate or mixed seating, as my Hillel of that city did, and my home congregation did until very recently, the role of participation of women during formal services remained limited. Over time, women were offered a few honors like reading the few English passages that congregations use in their liturgy, but leading worship remained a male obligation and a male fulfillment.
This visit, the event that brought me to town, would begin at 1PM, located just minutes from the congregation I always wanted to visit but never did. The waning of anti-Semitism as a public taboo has changed synagogues dramatically. All American synagogues now have limited entrance with a professional security guard, usually with pistol in holster, at the only designated entrance, which is locked. I anticipated this. Before my visit, I sent an email to the office, introducing myself and my reason for wanting to attend. They accepted this, notified the gatekeeper that I would be coming, and had my name on a small scrap of paper in the police officer's possession when I arrived. The rabbi and his wife quickly recognized the only person sitting among them unfamiliar to them.
Staying the course on worship format comes at a price. Women the years I lived in that city did not have a role in conducting services. Moreover, their presence in medical school,
STEM, law school, and MBA programs was a pittance of what women subsequently achieved. If accepted in education and professions, not having parity in synagogue generated resentment. Women largely gravitated to congregations that would function in parallel with the gender parity they experienced in their professional lives, with places like mine and the shul I visited contracting in membership and attendance.
My
Waze route from the hotel to synagogue directed me through a very tony part of the area. Developments with McMansions spoked from the main road, a few with gates. The congregation had created a stunning campus. Upper and lower parking areas. Parsonage for the Rabbi, who I suspect could not afford a McMansion of that type within walking distance of the sanctuary. I parked my rental, then took my time walking a significant upslope to the main entrance. The officer recognized me as a designated visitor, greeted me, as did the maintenance lady on duty that morning. They had a weekly bulletin, far less informative than the one the volunteers of my congregation create each week. I looked at the donation plaques in the lobby. That tells a lot about the membership. Some donations have inscriptions less than three years old, including some honoring a Bar Mitzvah. I do not know if they have a Hebrew School, but wall hangings suggested they might.
Two congregants in the lobby introduced themselves. They directed me to Siddur and Chumash on shelves in the lobby. They use primarily the
Koren Siddur and
Artscroll Chumash, but had other options and included page numbers from three different books for the week's Torah reading. At the entrance to the sanctuary, I asked if men and women sat together or separately. He indicated both options. I took a seat in the center, one of the mixed areas, though a significant number of men and women, including the Rabbi and
Rebbetzin, placed themselves in the gender specific section.
My arrival coincided with my typical entry at my congregation, late in
Shacharit, a few minutes before the Torah Service. A gentleman approached me, asking if I were a
Kohen. I am not. The service took a choreography very similar to my home congregation. Three men divided the Torah reading, one being the Rabbi. They had the same portions led by women that we do, some English readings blessing the Military and Government. It is customary to offer an Aliyah to visitors, so I received one. The Rabbi gave his sermon of about twenty minutes, a few references to the weekly Torah Portion, more time devoted to his perspective on the disappearing taboos on anti-Semitism on our campuses and elsewhere in America. Some parts of our service were shifted to other times, making the closing prayers a little shorter. They had an interesting addition, asking people who would be traveling in the coming week, which included me, to identify where they would be going. I planned my return home. Another fellow had a business trip to China.
After the service, refreshments are customary. It gave me a chance to trade notes, to get the comparisons clearer in my mind without expressing them. Their rabbi knew my former rabbi and had served as a reference to candidates for his replacement. I do not know the financial trajectory of this synagogue. They have an exquisite campus, unlikely to be funded by annual dues. Their current membership approximated ours. I did not ascertain their peak membership or when it occurred, but mixed seating/ male exclusivity, which had been a Conservative Jewish norm at their founding, as were certain hybrid congregations, had fallen into public disfavor. The members who remained seemed older, maybe a few years younger than ours, and attended weekly worship in larger percentages than the more secular membership of
United Synagogue and
Union of Reform Judaism congregations. They have many more dues payers, but sanctuary attendance comparable to the place I visited and my home synagogue. Since I had the event that brought me to the area approaching, I wished people a
Goot Shabbos, thanked them for their hospitality, and then headed back to my hotel to retrieve my wife.
That event, located just a few miles from my hotel and the synagogue, brought me to a Presbyterian Church named after one of its saints. It stood in a neighborhood of much more modest residences than the synagogue. It had an impressive building, reasonably spacious grounds, but not the campus feel of the shul where I had just observed Shabbos. A handsome building dominating a small hill. Their entry foyer highlighted a few activities, the type that discloses what the congregation values. They sponsor outreach to the less fortunate, whether by economic circumstances, isolated by age or infirmity, or members of marginalized groups. References to youth programming appeared. We entered a multipurpose space where our event would occur. It had multiple round tables occupying the bulk of the floor surface, yet with enough perimeter to allow some cushioned seating and adequate greeting of others sharing this event. Their sanctuary was locked on this Saturday afternoon. Its entrance had tinted windows which allowed a view inside. A stage of ample size offered a lecturn for the pastor, floor space for choir or musical presentations integral to much Christian worship, fixed wooden pews encircling that stage, and traditional motifs of Christianity, if not Presbyterianism, on the back wall of the stage. The sanctuary would seat hundreds.
The building served multiple purposes. I wandered into their kitchen, probably a secondary focus of what their congregation does. Large space, modern commercial appliances and work benches. To get there, I had to pass other rooms, likely educational or meeting spaces. I did not encounter their administrative of pastors' offices. It seemed a multigenerational congregation. How well it functioned as an intergenerational worship institution I do not know. There are things a visitor can ascertain from the surroundings, other vital elements of a worship community known only to the regular participants.
In this age of modern websites, something virtually all American congregations have created, it is possible to learn more about each congregation beyond the impressions of personal visits. Many present their monthly or quarterly bulletins on their site, with a list of events and activities. The ability to assemble these without fail, weekly for my synagogue, monthly or quarterly for others, and to have members who load what the writers and editors create onto their public electronic forums is a notable achievement. It goes on as daily work, much like the clergyman's weekly sermon or religious school curriculum. Under the radar to outsiders, even many insiders. My journey across five congregations in a single week brought a blend of what makes each unique, but also what creates common ground and what remains hidden to the intermittent observer. Some seem more insular, others more insistent that their sanctuary doors swing outward, figuratively if not literally. Some value left-brain didactic learning, others more focused on right-brain aesthetics. They differ a bit in the spaces allotted to gathering, whether size of sanctuaries or public spaces. In order for any to function, they each require small dedicated groups to allow dedication to priorities and critical masses to execute and participate.
As I visit four others plus my own, my mind gravitates to the familiar. My synagogue does a few things very well. The places I visited each have their own strengths, some of which we could tap into to enhance the things we offer. There is also an inertia, most visible among the most familiar, as in mine. An Elsewhere performing better is not always envisioned as something to seriously consider. The unfamiliar, even when an upgrade, threatens something or some people's dominant influence. I saw elements of imagination, particularly from the distinguished Jewish visiting scholar. I encountered tenacity in preserving core practices, perhaps lamenting decline, but accepting it as the cost of traditions that cannot be diminished. There are places for scholars of national stature, elegant worship campuses, sophisticated music, and external outreach to reinforce a mission of kindness. These all exist in the places I visited, but not all in each place. Design my ideal synagogue with a pencil on a yellow pad? As much as I might want to include pieces of what I experienced, that's not the best option. Adam Smith of Wealth of Nations had a better idea. Accept the diversity. Contribute what your place of worship does best, then share those things with everyone else for mutual benefit. That best captures my week at different congregations.