Pharyngitis

After sitting adjacent to the lamp on my desk in My Space, the bottle of fluticasone received some preparatory shakes before squeezing the dispenser to deliver two sprays to each nostril.  It is intended for allergic rhinitis but should serve a similar purpose for infectious rhinitis.  My throat has gotten sore, enough to impede sleep though not sore enough to limit me to liquids.  No fever.  No systemic illness.  Yet a suspicion of Omicron Coronavirus can be hard to dispel short of a negative home test.  I might, as quarantine would affect some upcoming plans.  While my preference has been for sweetened Luden's Cough Drops, which I acquire when they go on sale, generic Hall's Honey Lemon serve the purpose while staying less medicinal than the more anesthetic Cherry Menthol variety.  Not seen Sucrets in a while or Chloraseptic spray.  Could look for them when I seek the Corona Test.  

While not systemically symptomatic, or at least I think not, I have some sleep deprivation.  As the illness progressed, I aided my catch-up with generic Dollar Store Melatonin, which would still be worth the new price of $1.25 if what they have at Walgreens is not competitive.  Learning something from two stops at very different places on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, cheap high proof whiskey can be swilled in a way that clears sinuses.  I did that successfully, though at the price of a burning tongue.  Perhaps I can spend a portion of the $5 bills I've accumulated on a bottle of good bourbon that has less lingual sting.

Despite a petty illness, not quite at its peak methinks, it remains a work day with things I can still do.

Repackaging Shabbos

Shabbos has been a demarcation time forever, though my personal form of elevating this day has shown a few incarnations over the decades, As a generalization, my personal observance has become more stringent over time, much like a Wall Street graph that shows a long term trend with up and down fluctuations amid the trend.  Coronavirus, that submicroscopic sphere with red spikes on all the pictures, basically eliminated shul as a destination.  It also gave me and excuse not to drive, which I haven't for about a month.  Instead, I lounge around the house, watch big screen TV, read recipes from my many cook books imagining the menu of my next grand creation.  I don't read anything of Jewish content, unless the cook book happens to be a Kosher one.  Torah is reviewed as part of weekly preparation.  I usually have some Jewish reading in progress, currently going through the 150 psalms five per day but since I do it on my cell phone's Sefaria app, this suspends for shabbos.  I still do my scheduled treadmill session as health maintenance since the ability to measure is essential to the goal.  While some variant of services is available as is our Rabbi's weekly sermon, I find each too much like Junior Congregation of old and never returned following a quick sample.

While it's not sensory deprivation, not even spiritual deprivation, the current form constitutes some form of deprivation.  Maybe those few fast quips with people at kiddush are worth the time sitting in the chapel during the service.  Maybe I should get back in the car and admire a park or nature.  I probably might if I were not retired but I can go any time.  Shabbos is really about setting aside, previously trips to the mall but now the car.  But in exchange for setting aside, there is an expectation that something else will be elevated in its place.  For a long time that was my leisurely breakfast out during my working years.  Then it became public worship, or communal gathering in the form of public worship as my attention often focused elsewhere. Now I've given up the car, which is a form of deprivation, but not really elevated anything of value that I found myself unable to pursue during the week.  It's a different style of shabbos, but a very incomplete one, and not an especially gratifying one.

Late Life College Mindset

While driving to a doctor's appointment, a top tier cardiologist who I had not seen in a year, I wondered how she would approach me in conversation.  Coronavirus had kept her and her group underworked for months but retirement has kept me underworked for just shy of two years.  How do I cope with not having to show up for work or not having the income that I once did?  As I pondered this while driving safely on the day that coronavirus restrictions were first lifted in a serious way, I saw stores that looked open, though not the ones I typically entered.  The medical building also appeared largely empty.  Yet other than missing my anticipated spring break trip and postponement of my son's wedding, I did not live very differently during the restrictions.  I dined out barely at all, gave up coffee other than made at home, minimized shopping, kept shabbos and yontiff someplace other than shul and really missed none of this.

In effect I had become almost a facsimile of the college student I never really had the chance to be, one with some discretionary money, not burdened by exams or lab courses or grades that will direct my future.  As soon as I retired I created My Space with nice desk, a big screen TV, and a stereo, though with CD player replacing the turntable.  I read books, take courses at OLLI, have a paper due each month for Medscape.  I could eat out when I wanted, had a car to take me where I wanted, spend a little extra on coffee or beer.  I exercised more, took a break when I wanted, read more, expressed an ambivalence for shul by sometimes going voluntarily, sometimes grudgingly, sometimes not at all, rarely enthusiastically.  My Space not only exists and functions, but it is largely personalized with some mementos in my line of sight, good lighting directed where I want it, a white board to my left with multicolored writing to inspire me.  In effect a freedom that arrives late in adulthood, sacrificed for other things more out of fear than greed early in adulthood.

I had to declare a major then, some area of expertise to master.  Now I don't.  I've already mastered a few things, probably more than most college students will in their declared major.  Eventually my classes will resume.  For now it's the eclectic upgrading my mind, socializing more in cyberspace than in person, and with the resources of time and funds to use late adulthood to my best gratification.

Enrolling in Webinars

While it's always comforting to sit amongst the people, something that Coronavirus has negated, there are surrogates, some of which will likely endure ones personal gatherings have returned.  Online shul may as well be online Hebrew school.  For me, the people may be the only attraction.

What has gone well are organizations whose conferences would not have been reasonably accessible taking advantage of the situation and making their seminars publicly accessible.  And if you are looking at a talking head, a screen serves the purpose quite well, which is why live televised sports and news shows of varying types have acquired their followings.  But now I can sit in on events of learned people, which previously would not have been readily accessible to me, usually discussing an issue with one another.  I have registered for sessions with AJC, which have proven particularly enlightening, ADL, and later this week Brookings.  AEI has their sessions available, though the upcoming options seem to pitch their political hardball more than they capture ideas.  Some of the speakers end up in the Twittersphere without making on-screen pests of themselves so I added a few that way.  Since the speakers cannot get to the central location either, people a long air ride apart can appear on opposite sides of the screen.  They always take viewer questions, most very thoughtful as they go through a moderator rather than a speaker calling on a raised hand blindly. 

Amid the buffoonery that has become our rather toxic social media interactivity, we actually have erudite people with expertise and perspective making their thoughts accessible to people capable of benefiting from their wisdom.  No people prancing around hoping to get their picture with their arms in the air or disparaging quote into the public arena.  Just people who really want to partake of what the invited guests want to convey.  We are fortunate enough to have an abundance of generous experts and an abundance of listeners intent of making themselves wiser.

Engaging in Cyberspace

When email first became available to me about 25 years ago, the possibilities spurred my imagination of finding old friends and keeping in touch more easily.  I still utilize it but the novelty has long since evaporated.  For the most part much of it tries to sell me something and goes unread.  Facebook now sends me Memory posts of 10 years ago.  It's been that long.  I reconnected with a fair number of people.  Friends never became close friends.  The regular posters worth engaging might number a dozen, not a lot different than email.  Twitter allows brief interaction with intellectual superstars and people with spheres of influence.  But most of it is toxic and not really interactive.

Coronavirus has introduced us to Zoom, the virtual meeting.  I've been to online meetings at work in the past.  They never had the spontaneity of an on-site meeting.  Zoom sessions haven't captured that either.  What they have done is provide access to any number of topics discussed by experts who can then field mostly anonymous questions selected by a moderator who already knows what the question is.  It enables me to attend sessions that would not otherwise be offered to me, which is an important start.  Conversation it isn't, but those chat rooms of the 1990's or Medscape or Sermo's rapid posting of comments had their limitations as well.  For all the technological advancement, there's still nothing like actually being there.

Coffee Adaptations

Coffee, beer, and wine each capture my imagination amid their multiple variations, spirits and soda far less so.  My innate frugality takes a temporary respite to try a new beer or blend of coffee which never amounts to more than I keep in my pocket.  If I had to retain only one liquid pleasure, though, it would be coffee which I can obtain in many varieties within my budget and sample multiple brew methods.

Coronavirus has put a small stumbling block before the blind adherents to the pleasures of brewed coffee.  The shops are open but the purpose of the shop for me is usually the leisure pleasure of sitting there while the mug of coffee supplements my wandering mind.  The coffee itself rarely displaces the experience of being at the table with the exception maybe of WaWa which has multiple varieties and a more economical price, intended to be consumed mostly in the car in transit to someplace else.  Just for coffee, home does as well as anyplace else.

I enjoy k-cups, though more expensive than container or self-ground coffee.  The immediate variety that can change from one cup to the next in sequence offsets the price increment.  Coronavirus has put a few dampers.  Coffee has gotten more expensive in all its forms.  My favorite k-cups came from larger packs, usually 42 at the Christmas Tree Shop or 18 at TJ Maxx where varieties available and the challenge of selecting among many options made a stop there worth the effort.  Supermarkets have mostly 12 packs with the lower prices going to commercial canned coffee inserted into k-pods.  I usually buy two at a time but it doesn't last long.  Over the years I acquired a number of k-cup adapters which I find myself using more for the canned coffee, though it's an incentive to use one of my French presses more often.

When OLLI was in session, I would make myself a multicup French press supply to be sipped from a thermal mug over the course of the day.  I could still do that but it's hardly worth the cleanup of a large French press and the mug for plebeian coffee best described as hot, wet, and caffeinated.

So most days it's a three cup ration, two k-cups of specialty coffee and one cup of commercial coffee via adapter, French press, or Melitta cone.  I'm not yet deprived.

No Yeast

There's a yeast shortage.  Last shabbos we made motzi on our last two mini-challot.  I've tried to make mini-challot once before, not a great result, probably overbaked.  Thought I might try again.  When I went to Shop-Rite, the yeast section was empty of all brands.  Checked Target the next day.  They didn't have flour or yeast.  So it's another package of mini-challot, good for three shabbatot, which I obtained easily at Shop-Rite.  But still no yeast.

With everyone home during Coronavirus activity restrictions and business activity on the skids, a consumer demand remains for things that can be done at home.  People have taken up new activities, most notably gardening and baking.  I had planned my own expanded garden in the pre-Corona months and had no problem getting seeds, potting soil, or pregrown stems.  The garden centers are all open, though some with restricted hours.  Supermarkets are open, maybe a little less active with shoppers, but carts get filled by people who would like to minimize their trips there.  Bread has a limited shelf life so people have started making their own, which is not that hard to do, especially with a stand mixer and dough hook.  It can be a lot of fun, and to some extent engaging for kids cooped up at home to participate.  Bread making machines have sold out.  People have moved to the backup of soda bread, which I've never made, but baking powder and some form of acid to cause a reaction remains readily available.

Eventually the manufacturers of packaged yeast will restore supplies, but for now it's commercial bread.

The Supermarket

Grocery shopping has adapted in part to our Coronavirus pandemic with restricted outings.  Supermarkets and pharmacies and Walmart are the final public gatherings.  Shop-Rite's weekly news circular dropped to two pages, mostly without coupons, suggesting that maybe they really don't want too many people shopping there.

My recent bill came to about $94.  Some things were discounted like pineapples and some varieties of apples.  Some things seemed expensive like coffee and potatoes.  Some scarcities like kosher poultry had resolved, others like yeast or whole fish remain.  You can pick up single fruit from the bins but not single donuts or bagels.  Paper products seemed ample but I didn't devote much attention to that aisle.

By order of the Governor, everyone wore a facial mask.  Most were commercially obtained.  Mine was one of the few improvised by You Tube instructions.  And I left my reusable bags in the car so now I have oodles of plastic bags with the recycling options suspended.

We'll eat rather well for more than a week but I think I still want to try to find some yeast.

Optimistic New Week

Restrictions of Covavirus have taken their personal toll.  I had a brief illness with headache, insomnia, and inversion of my sleep cycle.  Mild exertional dyspnea.  No fever so not tested.  I wonder if I was hypoxemic, as this might account for symptoms.  They resolved over a few days and no contacts have become ill as far as I know.  Other than a few days recovery, the strain has been more keeping businesslike.  I get dressed daily, nearly always in the morning.  I have a purposeful list Gof weekly goals and daily tasks that I've pursued about as well as I did when I was working.  Things that are very finite with end points seem to get done, other things slide.  Exercise has become consistent as long as I feel well.  Staying upright through my wake cycle has not gone well at all.  Medscape submissions go out on time each month.  Others are more when I feel inspired to express myself, which has declined in frequency.  My financial reviews have not kept up to date.  My housework largely has, with Pesach imposing some firm deadlines.  And I still wish I got more pleasure from my efforts but I probably don't control this.

New weekly outline, composed first thing Sunday morning as I have been doing for years.  I think this will be the week that my gardens get fully planted.  I have an outline.  The right weather matters.  Maybe I'll go fishing.  And once my financial accounts are outlined, I can cross the project off.  I wanted to become proficient at understanding burnout, but the coronavirus stresses on the active medical people seems to have restored their sense of purpose and blunted some of the antagonisms that contribute to this.  And I'm a platelet donor.  And the evening timer reminds me of the nightly Omer count. 

So there are things to do, though all largely solitary.   Need to keep the end points as specific as possible.

Excessive Me Time

Like all but a few Americans, coronavirus has restricted activity but offered some beneficial behavioral changes.  I've spent scant money.  It was my intent to have a four day vacation during the OLLI spring break that didn't happen.  Not had coffee outside my house at all, one soda, one slice pizza and two sandwiches.  Zero new clothing.  Got some seeds for my garden, a light bulb for my desk lamp, and replaced a fishing rod & reel.  Needed some omeprazole. Refilled my prescriptions but no copay.  Everything else was either edible or used in the household.  Consumer spending drives the economy and I haven't done much. 

In the absence of new stuff, I have new time.  Obligatory things like Passover efforts largely proceed, those things that have inflexible deadlines and are important.  Most things are not like that.  As I review my daily list, some things like reading quotas have gone very well.  Others like writing or home tidying have challenged me to complete.  Last year I agreed to review some scholarship applications which I am doing again.  While I like doing them, and they have a deadline, I need a means of pacing them, which has gone reasonably well.

There are time sinks.  Facebook needs rationing.  Twitter offers me access to good minds but I'm not really an active contributor to the mental fray.  I listen to more classical music, which I think is good.  Hardly watch TV at all, and what I watch are largely streamed documentaries about animals and wildlife.  Not really a time sink, but nothing to show for the effort when the shows end.

Best option may be to act more businesslike, show up at appointments with myself to do defined tasks.  No reason not to have a stellar garden this spring, a usable basement, a tidy bedroom, or see my name in print. 

Post-Pesach Reset

My keurig machine with Victor Allen Kona blend in a porcelain cup in My Space has returned to action.  A day of returning boxes of Pesach ware to the basement and make a milchig shabbos dinner.  Otherwise an amorphous day and an amorphous shabbos.  We have virtual pre and post-shabbos online but it's magnified some of our shul's resemblance to Hebrew School so I just stay someplace else.  Cyberspace is big.  Usually I review Parsha commentaries on Thursday.  I still can and should and might.  Writing a big essay on coronavirus.  Today or Sunday for submission.

Wednesday/Thursday Yom Tovim just come at an awkward time if your week goes Sunday to Sunday.

Indoor Cat

Like most people with this pandemic, staying home gets priority, though not exclusivity.  For the first time since retiring I miss being a doctor amid the fray, tending to the diabetics whose illness poses a special risk.  Young persons sport perhaps, though I'm probably in a better position to handle the personal risk than those with young families.  An infection, though, would put me out action quickly and my age puts me in a raised mortality group.  So I'm mostly an indoor cat.

I could go fishing.  I will go fishing later today.  And I could uses a few minor purchases, none so urgent as to be done today.  Good weather for planting parsley in a container.  My writing and the thinking that makes it possible has not done as well.  I've done some work around the house.  Not much has elevated my spirits, though.  Nor have I undertaken my many listed tasks that could be checked off the list but have languished on the list for months or longer.

Yes, fishing later today and parsley in container.