They Reappeared

Our social media blends a great resource for connecting to people with a toxic environment that has generated much public comment.  I've divorced myself from Sermo in toto.  My exploration of Twitter, which gives me access to some of the finest minds and most accomplished people, though typically as one of a quarter million followers, also immerses me with some people I'd try to avoid in person.  These do not let me choose my interactive partners.  For the same reason, I no longer read any responses to any of my public comments via Disqus, except from KevinMD where there is more of a professional bond between the participants.  

By far the largest platform, and the one dearest to me, has been Facebook.  My identified friends number less than 100.  I value it mostly to maintain contact with childhood acquaintances, some real friends, some who I've gotten to know better electronically.  To this day, I have never unfriended anyone I met through Ramapo Central School District #2.  Indeed, I have only ever unfriended one person who I knew personally, though a few who indirectly sought me out and pitched their political hardballs with too many curves.  I have declared people unwelcome, sometime in the form of a 30 day snooze but in a few circumstances, usually for being intrusive or of excessive sloganeering in lieu of the cognitive skills that our teachers aspired us to have, through the Unfollow option.  Not many, but not zero either.

I expect Facebook to respect my choice and not ask me to share my reason.  In fact, I really need no reason, though the reason is invariably annoyance to me and a more ethical one of not wanting to be induced to think of anyone I know in a deprecating way.  Alas, this week, two of the members of Unfollow Harem reappeared with the same types of initiated posts that prompted my initial opt-out of them decision.  The original action took a series of repetitively unwelcome communications, at least a dozen over short time interval.  And sometimes after failure of a snooze option to make me less sensitive to what I receive.  But once a well-considered unilateral Unfollow, which I have the capacity to reverse at any time, gets selected, my intent is permanent.

As the three notices from two individuals, with basically the same screeches that prompted my original action reappeared, my reaction was again to confirm another Unfollow.  I was not given that option.  As a solitary member among a billion or so global Facebook subscribers, I really don't have a way of fighting Facebook's City Hall or its algorithms.  I do have Unfriend, which seems an assault on my own level of tolerance, but I am adamant about remaining the master of my participation in modern social connectedness.

Reconsidering Shabbos

Since Covid-19 closed the synagogues, shabbos has been very different for me, some elements favorable, some increasingly destructive.  This has been magnified by the Holy Days.  First, I stopped driving and never used the computer or cell phone except for medical care obligations when I was working.   I did watch TV and listen to the radio, still do.  When I was working I used to go out for breakfast Saturday morning, a residual pleasure that started when I needed some alone time to study for upcoming Board Exams but remained as a respite destination for the remainder of my working years.  I stopped doing this at retirement, redirecting my mornings at the Hollywood Grill to an obligatory breakfast required for platelet donation.  When shul on shabbos morning disappeared, I didn't miss it.  I could stay home, see what's on TV, scrounge some breakfast or at least make keurig coffee.  No FB or email intruded.  I would read some, snack some.  Longer stretches, including some Thursday-Friday-Shabbos yom tovim became more of a sensory deprivation experience, leaving taste of eating as the connection to reality.  I got pretty bored, not realizing how dependent Covid-19 made me on the screen.  I still maintained scheduled exercise those days, a variant of pikuach nefesh, with an electric timer, but amid overall designated sloth, I found the chore of schlepping onto the treadmill more of an intrusion than destination or break from boredom.  And worst, I spent much of the day horizontal, some in a lounge chair in My Space, but too much on the living room sofa, or worst of all, in bed.  A reasonable 45 minute nap at mid-day became two hours, disrupting sleep for the next two days. 

Rosh Hashanah afforded me services both days, requiring 45 minutes of attentive driving each way. Even so, the absence of screens gave way to the horizontal posture again.  Yom Kippur services were more tentative due to possible rain, but they went on as scheduled.  Good thing, because I'd have gone stir crazy not eating for 26 hours at home.  Taste may be the last portion of sensation that survives these screen-free stretches.

Just as a matter of my own health, this will not do.  I am going to have to go somewhere each shabbos or yontiff.  The screen has always been suspended, but until Covid, it comprised far less of my usual day than it does now, greatly magnifying that sense of deprivation.  Going to shul occupied the morning.  Even if I didn't go, I would drive somewhere, maybe attend the West Chester University football game in the afternoon, and on occasion make a day of it by driving to Baltimore for Beth Tfiloh in the morning and some Baltimore area attraction afterwards.  What I am doing now is probably a form of false piety, not driving largely because I have noplace to go than a genuine desire to enhance shabbos.  For my own protection, this really cannot go on.  I will just have to decide what forms of exit from my house remain compatible with shabbos and yontiff.

Replacing My Pill Case

My medicines and I have not always gotten along.  The current daily allotment has been five for a while, mostly tolerated though one needs a suspension periodically and another needs an addition periodically.  One disappeared due to orthostasis, and even now with very good BP control I will still get momentarily symptomatic on occasion when I arise quickly.  Compliance has been no better than my patients' until about a year ago when a therapeutic trial with lab work convinced me that these tablets are all doing what is intended.  

It helped to create a ritual.  Just as I start every Sunday morning outlining what I want to do during the week, as a week's perspective tends to be more purposeful than a daily task list, every Sunday I place all the pills in the their plastic pill case, noting which days I goofed which have recently been negligible, and what I need to renew at the pharmacy. It has worked out well.

I don't know how long I've had the white pill case, a linear seven compartment plastic model readily available from the Dollar Store, though usually given to me by a drug rep, pharmacy, or insurer that has an interest in taking the medicine regularly.  The logo of the donor has long since worn off.  What also wore off this week were two of the seven plastic hinges that allow me to open and close each day's compartment.  I had a few others around, a yellow one in a less convenient oval that I use for travel and another similar to the one that broke, this one from CVS Caremark with the cherry red print visible from the front.  Gleaming white, unlike the broken one that had acquired some gray grunge near the recesses of the embossed day letters.  I transferred the remaining week's pills from old to new, put the broken one in the trash, and swallowed by first day's quota.

My Kitchen Table

My kitchen depends on flat surfaces.  Around the perimeter:  a microwave which the instructions say not to pile things upon but shelves beneath, a plastic file cabinet, a wire cabinet, a rolling wooden island, counters in an L-formation, our refrigerator's top, a wooden cabinet in a nook, and a yellow metal rolling cart.  Moving inward, we have a kitchen table, four dining chairs and one other chair.  And that's only the visible flat surfaces, not counting the floor.  Cabinet and pantry space further expand where we can put things.  And we have a lot of things to put.  These past few months I've exerted some effort to claiming the island and the counters with some success.  Inroads to controlling the table have proven more intractable.

On many occasions I have tried to recapture control of the kitchen table.  Contents of the flat surface can easily be separated:  my things, wife's things, paper, not paper.  Paper tends to be overwhelming and the project fails.  It fails repetitively.  For now, though, I have my paper in two semi-neat piles and my not paper isolated to two other segments so by setting this as a priority, with the added incentive of being able to use the table for its intended eating purpose, I may get done, but it really has to be a priority.  I tend to do my priorities.

Activation Energy

Sometimes the most petty tasks become the most irksome.  It had been my intent to shower before bed, but I watched something on streaming instead.  Then get up on time, shower, and proceed with my day.  Now, shower after my first OLLI class and treadmill effort, which makes a lot of sense.  Not that I am shower averse.  The stream of water at a temperature just right for me with a variable pattern control is usually very soothing.  I have a series of specialty skin and hair applications from medicated and non-medicated shampoos, topicals that exfoliate and invigorate, two substances specified for beards, a choice of scented body washes, a choice of bar soaps.  And after drying I have a similar selection of facial and hair options, as well as body scents to choose from.  It would seem that my shower would be a prized destination, and often it is. However, that soothing time competes with other things I could be doing instead, often things that require fewer continuous minutes to accomplish but sometimes things like sleep or eating or studying that have a payoff beyond the immediate time.  

As I become largely and indoor cat, the day starts and ends primarily with a screen, interspersed with hygiene, grooming, exercise, nutrition.  All need doing, some need sustained activity.  All need a start, sometimes motivated intrinsically, sometimes prodded by an appointment or deadline.  Like a chemical reaction, being energetically favorable still requires an investment of activation energy before the inevitable transformation can proceed.  It is that jolt to proceed that has not been as consistent for me as I might like.

The Committee Excelled

Rosh Hashanah at the Merion Tribute House has always exceeded expectations.  It is a Conservative service in that it gives women full participation and modifies the language to include matriarchs but has a complete and traditional liturgy, performed expertly by the participants.  Cost of attendance is nominal, largely to cover rental space and extra chairs.  Pulling this off from one year to the next, with one or two new participants each year, requires a lot of coordination, done by a small volunteer committee.  It moved from a challenging task to a daunting one this year as Covid-19 moved the Holy Days from the sanctuary to the screen for most congregations.  My home congregation, which does not stream on shabbos and yontiff, effectively moved the day of Rosh Hashanah to whichever day a person wants to watch the pre-recorded and diminished proceedings.  I think it is the wrong approach, as the day specified for our Festivals in Torah, read as the Festival Maftir, creates the time boundary that bestows the day's sanctity.

Despite the challenges, the Merion Tribute House Committee, opted to have a live option on the Torah specified day.  Safety required considerable alteration of logistics and minor alteration of content.  Our service was moved outdoors, under a series of canopies with folding and other portable chairs spaced at the corners of each canopy.  As families assembled, they could move the chairs to sit as a family as they would do at home.  This meant that the entire project could disappear in a downpour.  The liturgy was abbreviated to what the consulting Rabbi deemed Halachically essential.  Shofar blowing was limited to the portion assigned as a shofar service without the added blasts in the Musaf.  And in Conservative tradition, the proceedings would be streamed live for those who opted to watch from afar.

It went off flawlessly.  We arrived at the start both days, assisted with the set-up.  People who led the various segments presented their portions expertly, though sometimes challenging to hear without a microphone, which on the first day was offered only for a terrific Dvar Torah.  Outdoors had its own learning curve.  Typically Rosh Hashanah post-mortems from congregations financially dependent of the success of their presentation can expect gripes about the air conditioning.  The crisp outdoors under the canopy had very effective air conditioning.  On the First Day, the women wore coats while the men mostly had woolen talesim, which did not shield the wind very well.  On the second day, women all wore closed shoes, men were a little more layered, me with a sweater under a wool sports coat.  My seat was at the intersection of two canopies which allowed the sun to shine on my place part of the time.  Our cat knows to stretch out by the window facing south that receives the sun.  I am now a creature comfort disciple of my cat.  The direct sun felt refreshing amid a generalized chill.  And mandatory spacing of chairs greatly expanded the No Chatter Section  of the outdoor sanctuary far beyond what could be attained indoors.

As successful as the event turned out, some things cannot be replicated.  No handshakes or any other skin to skin, or even sleeve to sleeve contact.  No conversations, little chance to chat with people you've not seen for a year.  That's part of the Holy Days too.  We pray as individuals but amid a much contracted community this year.  As well as most of the participants performed, they will just have to assume my notice and my admiration.

All great initiatives begin with somebody's imagination and with a risk of not succeeding.  This committee had experience, a legacy of most things going well, a few that need revision for the subsequent year.  There's the inevitable checklist of inviting participants, notifying people likely to attend, asking for money to cover costs.  But this year brought more fundamental questions.  How important is it to protect the specified day?  Could we satisfy Covid-19 safety restrictions?  How badly do we need to serve food?  Is there an advantage to having less time at services?  Will people come?  After concluding that the Holy Days and their rituals are fixed in time, that the ability to gather Jews for worship at that time protects Judaism, then the rest becomes an assessment of logistics and of Plan B's, those elements of imagination that not all committees have ingrained in their purpose.  They could not have succeeded more grandly.

The Cheap Chef

Bringing a special dinner to reality comes a few times a year.  Seder, Rosh HaShanah, Thanksgiving, Wife's Birthday and with Covid limiting our dining out, our Anniversary.  With RH approaching, I paid a little attention to the actual preparation.  Menu comes first.  For Seder and Thanksgiving, and to a lesser extent Rosh Hashanah,  themes set a pattern. It is tempting to think that online recipes have made cookbooks obsolete, maybe they have, but I still like browsing the significant collection of cookbooks that I have acquired and will even view some from the library.  But basically it is motzi, premeal starter, salad, meat, starch, vegetable, cake, and beverage.  I try to include something that either I've not made before, or at least in a while, and something that takes more effort that I would be willing to expend were it not for a special occasion.  Then an ingredients list, review of what I have available, and circled items become the shopping list.  Meat at Shoprite, eggs at Trader Joe's, some of the more important produce at Sprouts or maybe Booths Corners Farmers Market.  Thaw what needs to come out of freezer.  Then assess cookware and appliances.

So we have Rosh Hashanah:

1. Kiddush
2. Apple + Honey
3. Round Challah with Raisins
4. Chicken Soup with Orzo
5. Escarole with Asian Sesame Dressing
6. Bastilla
7. Irene's Rice Kugel
8. Glazed Carrots
9. Apple Honey Bundt Cake
10. White Wine

Game On.