Not Worth It

Anticipated a few Me Days this summer, including an outing to Hersheypark yesterday.  As a senior, I really don't need stuff.  I value experiences much more, and I am willing to spend a bit to acquire some. Experiences do not always have to be new, though those seem to be the most valued.  

Centerpiece Hersheypark.  Bookends Shady Maple Smorgasbord before, a pint at the Troegs Brewery after.  Great breakfast.  Refreshing pilsner.  And at least going, the Waze GPS took me on a pleasant drive through interesting towns.  I could see that some had inordinate numbers of churches, many quite large.  Other places seemed to have a few major employers and businesses to service them.  A few were dominated by farms along the roadside.  And then there is the massive Milton Hershey School, originally a legacy gift to support fatherless boys, since modernized to contemporary needs.  And the GPS took me to residential Hershey with the houses I might have shopped for had I taken a job with their medical center, the school, or the research division of the chocolate company that paid well enough to acquire that type of upper middle class home.

And then the park itself.  Not a good experience, certainly not worth the $100 or so I spent to be there.  While not the park's fault, or perhaps some of the experience might be, I found the adventure difficult.  Considerable hike from my space under parking lot pole #74 to the tram pickup, all while toting my swimming stuff that I would need for their waterpark.  While I prepaid, my voucher and screenshot did not have a bar code so they sent be to the ticket agent to get a legit ticket.  And then there's walking.  A lot of walking.  My smartwatch is not waterproof so I left it home, thus I had no step counter.  Had I been wearing it, that 8000 step signal of my daily goal would have been reached early.  And while Hershey seems pretty flat in the car, there are a lot of upslopes.

No coasters for me.  My only rides were an antique car with a line that moved slowly for a minimal experience, and the choo choo train which took me four queries to find.  Signage could have been thought better, maps were few and not terribly helpful.  I just do not know the significance of an arrow pointing to The Hollow.

My destination was really the waterpark.  Finding the changing facility was not obvious.  I needed assistance to rent and find a locker.  Lazy River is my preferred start.  Asked four different people how to get there.  They pointed to it but did not specify the entrance.  And they did not call it a Lazy River that anyone would recognize, but the more proprietary Intercoastal.  Line to enter was eight rows deep.  I had set my watch aside.  My turn eventually came, probably about 45 minutes later for two floats in a big transparent tube, which at least noted front-back and R-L, where my limited flexibility could not position me optimally.  Next, the wave pool.  Asked three more people where it was until a security guard told me its proprietary name and understood that I wanted its entrance.  It was not operating.  Went back to a changing room that didn't look like the one I had used and the adjacent lockers had different numbers.  I asked the attendant directions to the other locker room.  He erroneously advised me that there was no other.  Obviously not true.  By then I had a few landmarks like Nathan's Hot Dogs which was nearby.  Green is easy to find.  Then my locker and changing room appeared with it.

By now, I had been on site about 3.5 hours.  Not amused.  Not thrilled.  At least the park signs pointed to the main gate until a key intersection where the arrow no longer appeared.  I thought I might take a break and ride the monorail which gives a vista of the park.  My place in the slow, episodic line was two trains worth.  I left and took my time to the entrance.  I got my forearm stamped on the off-chance I might want to return.  A quick run through one of their many locations to buy tchotchkes.  Not a bad place to get a Hanukkah gift that cannot be duplicated in local stores.  I passed this time.

Not a great place for seniors unless they are escorting grandchildren.  It's probably gratifying to treat the little ones to some rides and some of the water slides and maybe even splurging for snacks more unique than what they have at home, all clustered in one place.  For an older person alone, ticket significantly discounted or people like me would not go at all, it seemed like more of an arcade.  Places to eat, too many places to eat.  Games you can't win.  Caricature artists, photographers, henna kiosks all creating a different version of you than the one you've adapted to.  Coasters too hazardous.  Lines not justified for their end points.  Several non-operative attractions.  And more wandering around generated by staff not really trained to give accurate directions or draw a map on paper and by signage that seemed more proprietary than helpful.  Maybe with intent.  Tired of the upslopes, get some ice cream or a soda.

While getting there was recreational, I needed to extend the recreation a bit from a trying day.  Made it back to my very hot car, set the GPS for Troegs Brewery whose magnificent tour I once enjoyed.  Only five minutes of easy driving from the park.  No tour this time.  Just a short walk from their parking lot, a few smartphone photos of their building, and a half hour or so to indulge my fondness for the variety of craft brews.  Very long list, took my time, selected a pilsner.  Sipped at my leisure.  Quiet time.  More quiet time as my GPS algorithm decided that the two hours to get home would be highway, not scenic.