Completing the Omer

Last night counted #49, a full seven weeks from the Second Seder, mostly a Torah commandment to count with a Rabbinical opinion on when to start.  There are rules.  As for quite a number of years, I counted with a blessing and closing each of the nights, this year setting my watch alarm to remind me at a time well after dark.

Despite my growing disaffection with things and organizations Jewish, this particular ritual has kept me committed.  It was once challenging to remember but the automatic buzz on my left wrist has remedied that.  I even interrupt what I was doing, usually upstairs, to go downstairs where I keep the daily count calendar to recite the blessings, the day, the week and day, and the closing, even though I could do this at my computer from My Space.  Guess I need my rituals, some anticipation, some measure of task completion.  Our Sages have commented on what the daily upward count is supposed to do for us as individuals.  I don't think it makes me stronger, it doesn't really make me anticipate wanting to receive Torah, its end point.  More, it is my willingness to stop what I am doing for a couple of minutes without fail, to fulfill an obligation that is more personal than communal.  Whatever my thoughts and experience about the public Jewish experience, definitely not one of my life's high points, being at least one of Judaism's silent partners, or really slightly less than silent with the daily blessings and count, still retains its importance.