Been Abandoned

This week it had been my intent to visit the Everglades, a badly needed vacation.  I can see gators online.  I can get food from the supermarket or takeout at home.  I can even make my bedroom warmer with a space heater.  What I couldn't do was access different people.

It's not for not trying.  I sent notes to two friends not accessed for a couple of years.  Neither responded.  I've been shut out of any synagogue planning though some other people have finally taken some responsibility for more inviting programs.  I was supposed to help decorate a storefront but they went ahead and did it without me.  

Even my FB friends have tired of the platform and moved on to something else.  Those who remain are personable enough but they largely pitch their political hardballs amongst each other.  OLLI classes have concluded.  I like the small weekly afternoon group, the closest I get to a conversation.

That's not to imply desperation as I can be pretty productive left to myself.  But I have the good fortune of deriving some benefit when others express what they think when I get to respond.  That's a lot different than typing the 140 character allotment of Twitter or some unilateral thoughts on Disqus when a published article merits my thoughts.  It's just not beneficially interactive, and more often red meat for trolls.

I am left to myself.  I am also ultimately responsible to myself.  Forums for interaction are not absent, just more difficult to exchange.  So Hillel seems right.  If I am not for myself who will be for me?  Looks like nobody.