Wakeful Night

For all my efforts with sleep hygiene, difficulty falling asleep once tucked in and lights out rarely challenges me.  Some form of internal clock awakens me with no prompting at 3-4AM in a predictable way with variable success in returning to sleep, but something that nearly always happens prior to the wrist buzz as 6:3z0.  

Last night differed.  My day began with my dissatisfaction with my synagogue experience articulated more graphically than optimal.  I went on my way, doing good things the remainder of my usual wake times.  I walked on the treadmill after helping with a yahrtzeit minyan, began writing my monthly paid column, returned to OLLI for some quiet lounging followed by my scheduled class.  Then home and more writing.  Then a quick reheated supper followed by a quick run through Shop-Rite for a few items needed imminently for shabbos and Rosh Hashanah.  Then more writing leading to actual submission of a pretty good Jewish article, though I suspect not quite what its destination most likes to publish.  Then editing another Jewish article, this one needing considerable word reduction, or consolidation of thoughts.  As I juggle themes of resentment, at the start of my day, I find it hard to detach myself as a storyteller, but I tried.

As my usual time to call it a day arrived, I found myself not the least bit tired.  More accurately, my mind seemed energized, engaged in thought, though not really Mental Flow.  Some TV to distract me, something mindless, in this case David Letterman interviewing Howard Stern on Netflix.  It engaged me enough to surf the web while I watched to get some biographical background on Howard Stern.  Then some more attention to my monthly medical column.  A try at sleep unsuccessful, so more TV and some artificial inducements with a timer to limit my time awake and at screens.  Finally, around 1:30AM, still wound up without entirely satisfactory explanation, it was lights out.  The internal clock woke me about three hours later.  Usually I will use the bathroom, grudgingly hobbling there and back, eager to try to resume sleep.  This time I walked there with full energy, not at all inclined to give the night's sleep its second act.  Horizontal until I no longer wanted to be horizontal, rising an hour before the daily morning wrist buzz.  Dental hygiene, coffee, both basically time shifted by an hour, feeling not the least bit draggy.  Back to the medical column, accessing the core article on which it is based, typing my commentary, shifting back and forth between published contents and my own thoughts about it.  Coffee not quite finished, still warm enough.  Morning medicines swallowed.  Still not at all sleepy despite drastic reduction in my usual sleep hours.  Accomplish what I can.  Expect to have my back-up internal clock reset me by midday.