Mother's Day Dinner

Preparation began early, though only the bread and dessert, both baked, take a long time.  And both completed at midday, creating a respite of about five hours before the remaining dishes get cooked and an attractive platter assembled.

I drove along the main route of my community, a path along a single road of mostly retail.  One dying mall to the north with a thriving supermarket across the street.  Familiar names on the storefronts.  Big Box stores, the last regional department store, places to eat that advertise their franchises on TV, a few independents.  Lunch gets traffic on Mother's Day.  One center dedicated to five restaurants had its parking lot filled.  Three national chains, one regional one, and one splashy popular diner.  All teeming with grateful children treating their moms.  True for all other places along my route that offer fare that not only requires cooking but also utensils to eat what the waitress delivers.  All except the IHOP, which from limited recent experience may not merit having diners, particularly for a special lunch of appreciation.  Many of these national chains get into my news feed of places that Gen Z diners won't patronize, with predictions of bankruptcy or at least widespread location closures imminent.  But today, grateful sons and daughters treat the local mothers.

Food preparation being one of my sources of personal fulfillment, and as empty nesters, I take responsibility for my children's mother having a memorable dinner.  Planned weeks in advance.  Multiple courses, all cooked and assembled in my own kitchen by her appreciative husband, who makes a decent surrogate for our kids.  Bread needs mixing, rising, punching, forming, a second rise, then baking.  No one part takes a long time but significant time gaps between steps.  Making a cake takes time, even with a stand mixer.  This being a flourless torte, I needed to separate eggs, grind the almonds, beat the whites, mix the yolks, blend sugar, add the extracts, add the ground almonds, fold in the whipped whites, prepare a springform, pour the batter and bake in a preheated oven in two stages.  Then cool, then release from springform and finally make the surface visually attractive.  These two steps took all morning, but done.  Only one more baking project, one that takes about a half hour after some mixing of ingredients.  One salad, takes minutes.  Two stovetop dishes, neither taking very long.  And then an elegant table.  Wash pots, pans, measuring devices, and appliances as I go.  Then elegant table.  Sign card.  A gratifying effort.

Creating Dinner Menus

Two upcoming special suppers, Mother's Day and Shavuot.  The latter is typically dairy, with several justifications provided for this by the sages.  Mother's Day is simply a special effort, centerpieced with something either difficult to obtain or difficult to prepare, expanded to something special, though constrained a tad by it falling on Sunday.  Shavuot this year spans Thursday night, which is usually a limited offering of blintzes or quiche, and a more elaborate shabbos dinner, with fish as the centerpiece of a meal that is otherwise dairy.  And perfect excuse to have shabbos guests.

Shavuot menu seemed easier to assemble, as coulibiac makes a perfect main course that I've made enough times before.  It takes some effort, with shopping, preparing the rough puff pastry in advance, and finally baking, after a multi-stepped assembly.  And for dessert, apple walnut pie made famous by the Fish Market of Philadelphia, z"l, where we used to splurge for special occasions.  Then fill in the middle.  A soup, a salad.  No need for starch as the fish pie has rice, and a vegetable.  Then a wine.

Mother's Day is more pluripotent.  I have a veal roast sitting in the freezer forever, far too big for the two of us, though a lot of people now object to veal on ethical grounds so it may not be the best option for guests.  I have a package of sliced corned beef, frozen forever, not likely to appear in the Shop-Rite kosher meat case again.  I bought a brisket on sale and have made my own corned beef from that cut a few times.  And my wife really likes rib steaks, now quite expensive, though excellent cuts just came on the shelf at Trader Joe's.  Probably best option.  And for a fleishig meal, her favorite dessert would be torta del re, which I've made many times.  Intricate preparation, usually comes out very well.  Perhaps I will need to get a spring form once size smaller than the one I've been using.  Then fill out the rest: a starter, a salad, starch, vegetable, wine.

These efforts challenge my imagination and skill.  Since they require planning and sometimes detailed assembly, as well as juggling components at the time of preparation, I find the composite effort personally gratifying.  And somebody else gets to enjoy the result with me.

Happy Mother's Day

Some dear old friends pounced on me last week finding merit in the Catholic Church, which has treated me exceptionally well despite their public baggage, now and well established for centuries.  They steadfastly oppose abortion, at least in America, though with expedient lower profiles elsewhere as their adherence shrinks here.  Even that iconic saint Mother Teresa caused some harm in India by including her Church's dogma on reproductive function while the poorest of the poor who may not have had much more pleasure available to them than their sexual gratification, got avoidable burdensome pregnancies and infectious diseases while she denied them contraceptives and infection control.  But she had her element of merit for the things she did, as did my many Catholic associates in diverse cities where I have lived.  These personable ladies, yes 100% ladies, collective scorn was for getting dealt a different chromosomal lottery outcome, one that denied me the ability to carry pregnancy, though essential to create pregnancy.  My absence of those parts apparently in the minds of dear people disqualified me from having the sensitivity that they demanded.  

As we get to Mother's Day, the universal reverence for those who reared us, the respect earned by our mostly female teachers, our daughters grown up, those nurses who didn't have full opportunity in my childhood era whose daughters have become the doctors who take care of me today, some with my input in their educational support is unshakable.  We can choose sides over the contentious issues which have arced towards better equality over time, but just as those old friends who would never have been that hostile in person want their due, the pot shots at me for my genetic destiny seem equally unwarranted, probably even factually wrong in an era where reality does not carry the respect it once did.

As empty nesters, the kids can call when they get around to it.  I make a pretty good surrogate.  Card, small gift, nice dinner with insufficient deserved complements.  Yes, people like me can appreciate reproductive dimorphism in its most generous way.  And not just on a designated Mother's Day.

Some Kitchen Time

Since I have an awards reception to attend this morning, shabbos dinner started and continues in a crock pot.  Not a whole lot of advance planning other than thawing the chicken.  Then some vegetables past their prime, sautee the chicken parts, add a can of rinsed beans, some grain this time barley, a secret blend of spices only secret due to its spontaneity and lack of record keeping, then top with some water.  High for an hour or so, then low until dinner with maybe a stirring or two en route.  Get about three dinners from this.  Cleanup not oppressive.  Go about my day.

Mother's Day Dinner takes a much different trajectory.  As empty nesters, the kids honor Mom from afar.  I provide a card, a nominal gift, and the day in the kitchen.   Without even entering the kitchen, menu and shopping completed.  Then into the kitchen where defrosting takes literally seconds to extract from the freezer but days to acquire the ability to proceed.  Need to retrieve the two recipes that reside in my cookbook collection, largely obsolete as online has become a much better way to capture a far expanded array of recipes from a far expanded array of experts and amateurs, all at virtually no cost.  Then convert kitchen sink to milchig after shabbos for culinary marathon on Mother's Day itself.  

Since the menu is dominated by baked items, the sequence of oven use matters.  Dessert first, then bread, then entree timed to be completed shortly before serving.  Baking things also requires some assembly and modern kitchen appliances have properly displaced the elbow grease of the baalaboosta.  Wine needs to go into fridge.  Salad will need so prep time.  And a visually elegant table too.  Effort for sure, but joyful effort.

A Recovery Day

Over-extended myself for Mother's Day.  Elegant dinner.  Some gardening.  A Zoom session with the kids.  A brief but largely regrettable return to FB.  Wrote to my Senator about litter at the new First State National Historic Park.  Finally too much cabernet sauvignon.  All followed by a crash and considerable insomnia.  I did manage at least one sleep cycle that I remember but definitely dragging today.  And gained a kg over two weeks on my Monday morning weigh-in after laudable reduction from restrictions at the supermarket.

OLLI completed its spring session, though I probably could still have managed a Monday morning discussion session.  Maybe a reduced treadmill session, too.  But coffee will need to take its effect if I am to make serious headway on the day's intended pursuits. 

Mother's Day Approaches

Mother's Day has become one of those absolutes. You can pay the psychiatrist $250 every week to talk about her, living or not, but the imprint needs recognition, as does the person.  So after we've become Empty Nesters and my own mother's yahrtzeit passed the half century mark this year, Mother's Day remains a day of recognition.

I usually offer a gift, a not too extravagant one, more likely to be a special effort on my wife's behalf than a thing that can be unwrapped.  And dinner is a special one.  Choosing a card usually takes some thought.  All in the planning stage but high priority as the day approaches.

Letdown

Mothers Day came and went.  It's a special day for me because I get to pamper my children's mother a bit, having outlived my own.  I get a card, a bottle of wine, and make an effort at supper elegance.  All this happened.  Maybe a little too much wine.

Today, getting out the starting gate has taken more attention than usual.  I'm not tired, not really devoid of motivation either, but past the climax.  I tried to fix my refrigerator to find that a key part does not fit, adding a return and replacement hassle.  It's a treadmill day, as was yesterday.  I set a time to do it, a duration, and a speed and just did it.  Usually when I've been consistent with this and push my limits, I eventually capture more energy so today may be an investment in that end.  I'd like to go fishing and try tying the palomar knot that I just taught myself.  However, I lolled around on the couch when I could have been doing this.  I still can.  Have not yet exchanged the seasonal clothing.  Can do that when I return from fishing.

Interestingly, I feel generally well, just let down a bit.  My fingers hurt less, my lumbar area is better and the thoracic back strain has run its course quickly.  My legs ache in the mornings but not in a disabling way.  Most other Review of Systems has been pretty good, or at least age appropriate.  It's just that motivation seems more forced than spontaneous.  Try out the palomar knot, perhaps.