Quasi Work

My personal calendar gave me a challenge.  Returned to OLLI, the senior division of our State University for the first time.  By the vagaries of submitting course preferences, my schedule played out to three courses on Monday's, first, second, and third sessions.  On Tuesdays I only have two classes, first and third sesssions.  On Wednesday, only two, first and second sessions.  Due to Holy Days falling Thursday-Fridays this season, I opted not to enroll in any courses those days.  The class schedule has its quirks.  My middle class on Mondays, the one I desire most, only runs the second half of the semester, and is on Zoom.  My first class on Wednesdays only meets the first half of the semester.  And the final course on Tuesday, for which I am presenting one class, only appears via Zoom.

Tuesday and Wednesday drive-in for the in person classes, then drive home seems straightforward.  Monday proves more challenging, with a Zoom course sandwiched between two traditional classes.  I opted to create a faux work day on Mondays, at least until the final class adjourns.

I got up at my usual time.  Instead of dental hygiene, then coffee, I inserted dressing.  The day before I made a checklist, what to wear, what to take in a small backpack.  Laptop, charger, leather writing pad, the secure chest travel pouch I bought last year, a radio, a thermos of coffee, a lunch that I would make at home, the Torah portion I am preparing.  Since this would be my first day on-site, I needed extra time to pick up my ID badge, so off to the car a bit early.

I arrived well in advance of my first class.  While there I filled out some forms for access to the University's computer services and parking at the main campus.  Sipped coffee.  Then class.  An excellent lecture on the history of airline safety.

Downstairs to the lobby after class to being a 2.5 hour unstructured block.  Started with a stroll outside to the patio to work on the Torah reading.  Minor imperfections.  When I do this, I wear a kippah that I keep in my pants pocket, this time a blue suede one from a Bar Mitzvah.  I opted to leave it on the rest of the day.  America in general, and campuses in particular, have accumulated people who think it OK to verbally accost anyone they can identify as Jewish.  We are oppressors of everyone who has not thrived in America in their minds.  

But I really intended to work on some other projects.  I extracted my laptop, its charger, and my good leather portfolio from my backpack.  In order to have an outlet for the charger, I had to settle for a high table with high chair along one of the walls.  Plugged in.  Refill my insulated mug.  Ready to work.  The University has its own Wi-Fi.  I saved it with my ID and password onto this laptop last year.  Despite having forgotten both prompts, it connected me.  To connect with the University library system, I will need a more sophisticated entry point which requires renewal.  But once online, I could surf.  Not productive surfing at all.  E-mail, social media.  I thought a little about things I might like to write, but didn't write them.  Read a presentation from a Substack to which I have a subscription, but did not respond.  Returned to my backpack to retrieve my sandwich.  Too soon to proceed to the cafeteria.

Eventually I packed my electronics, took my lunch back to the patio, where I ate it.  An old friend of 40+ years happened by.  We each had covid in the last year, so exchanged notes. Not a lot of work got done, creating some minor guilt.

Early afternoon class, an excellent intro to the Big Bang.  Kippah still on.  No apparent reaction from anyone else.

Home right after class.  I had two top notch sessions, OK lunch, satisfaction of planning what I wanted to do, no serious focus on doing it.  A lost opportunity.

There will be a Monday of this type each week until my half-semester course begins.  The 2.5 hour chunk of time needs to be allocated in a more specific, accountable way.

Making Committments

A friend from synagogue asked me to help out with a project. While I have doubts about the project itself, his request to do the kitchen component matches with my interests, skills, and desire for a challenge.  However, Sunday mornings, the assigned time, has been my protected time for much of my adult life.  Every Sunday morning, I retreat to my screen to see what's current.  I take out my planning papers, Semi-Annual Projects, and multicolored pens which allows me to outline my aspirations for the coming week.  At one time I went out for breakfast with some frequency.  Or I went fishing.  Or I went to a coffee house for a half-hour or so of quiet time with a writing pad to my right and the porcelain cup to my left.  Committing to a Sunday morning incurs opportunity costs.  None of what I might have done instead is irreversibly sacrificed.  My week will get outlined.  In my working years, and perhaps a bit beyond that, the planning pouch with its pens and papers got toted to the coffee shop.  I can go fishing anytime.  The synagogue event serves coffee and has other people present.  What I would miss may be less the project itself than the control over when I pursue them.  

And the date given is nearly three months in advance.  I don't even schedule my vacations three months in advance.  Or choose my OLLI courses that way.  While my initiatives are Semi-Annual, and they all have the completion deadline component of a SMART goal, virtually none have an assigned date and time.  Appointments go on my weekly outline and whiteboard as I compile a list each Sunday morning.  They do not become part of Semi-Annual Projects which function better with flexibility.  Appointments months in advance have a way of hanging over me that long.  I dislike that.  It should be far enough in the future for me to prepare, though not so far as to have me staring at my calendar.  I know when Seder and Yom Kippur are, but I don't bring either into my need for action until they approach.  For time in the kitchen, a week or two will suffice, if I am willing to yield that Sunday morning at all.

Schedule Struggles

One laudable personal achievement post-pandemic has been the introduction of routines, primarily morning, but really extending much of the day, into the post-supper times.  I have a wake time with few deviations from it.  Sleep time has not established itself quite as well, but close enough to create something of a box of time for my waking hours.  Every day, with some modifications for shabbos and yom tovim, I start with dental care, make coffee which I bring upstairs to My Space, retrieve the newspaper from the end of the driveway for my wife irrespective of weather, wash some dishes, then retreat with my coffee mug to my desk to begin the day.  A blog effort, some crosswords, FB notifications while I sip the first cup, invariably brewed in a Keurig Express machine from pods obtained from a Shop-Rite discount.  Then treadmill if scheduled that day, time dependent on when my OLLI class begins.  On-site at OLLI completes most mornings.

That leaves a mostly unstructured block of time every afternoon, though my personal prime energy time has been the mornings.  Afternoons have very occasional appointments, the time to tackle tasks on my Daily Task List to bring Semi-Annual projects to fruition.  What I have found, though, is the morning structure, created by me, makes my mornings productive.  Afternoons have been less so, with my Musts largely dispatched by the time I return home from OLLI.  I have tried priorities, and work on them, but often do not bring projects to completion, in large part because I am often unclear on what completion entails.  Some things I do well, particular those with a future deadline like an upcoming Torah reading assignment or a submission to a writing contest.  I have a way of pacing myself knowing the end point but often flounder when there is either no completion deadline or I cannot grasp what the final result of my effort should look like.  I have tried to create structure with a timer which encourages me to define the time block for working on something but not for determining the final result.   I suppose there is no reason why I cannot do the same structural definitions of tasks for the afternoon that have succeeded in the mornings.

The evenings go a little better.  Supper gets prepared by me most nights, with eating time a little before 7PM, linking my PM medicine to supper preparation with nearly complete success.  I have a defined time for twice-weekly stretching in late afternoons and a defined time to record my weekly YouTube video, with very few postponements.  Then I have a recreational block, TV time, though more productive than the endless sitcoms I watched prior to subscribing to a comprehensive cable service.  I gravitate to YouTube shows about the trajectories of religion and videos of travel to places I might like to visit but realistically won't. That alone defines my personal interests.  There is Netflix, worth the monthly fee, where my interest varies between short series on assorted topics or more recently stand-up comedy presentations.  I do not usually try to catch up on what I should have done during the afternoon but didn't, nor do I do much housework.  Often I will read from a book I am pursuing, the amount determined by length or time before I begin to read. And I work on Torah readings during the evening hours, pacing myself to achieve fluency by a certain date.  Bed at a fairly specified time, a very helpful rather recent introduction.

So my lost opportunity appears to occur in the afternoons, that unstructured time box between my return from OLLI and supper preparation.  I need to add structure, a predictable routine, for tackling the Semi-Annual projects that lack deadlines, or even a definition of completion.  The templates for doing this are well established and successful most mornings.  As OLLI reaches its summer hiatus, that amorphous time interval will greatly expand.  It needs to be recaptured by the many things I'd like to do but have not taken advantage of my ability to perform at top level.

Caught Up With Me

Good habits to create, then nurture.  For me, getting up when I tell myself I should irrespective of how I feel, then going on the treadmill for the pre-determined session before my first activity.  I've done well since New Year's.  Up at 7AM with few exceptions such as illness following my Covid vaccine, which traded one healthy effort for another.  Then treadmill.  Lapse for an illness like cytokine surge from the covid vaccine or an injury to a part of my lower extremity.  But lapses are few.  To do this successfully, I set a fixed time:  8:15AM, enough time for two 8 oz cups of coffee made in a Keurig K-Express and to review my plan of attack that keeps the rest of the day productive plus at least one crossword puzzle.  And maybe a blog entry, and certainly check overnight messages.

Resumption of OLLI classes interfered with what had been going so well.  To get to my 9AM classes, treadmill sessions were shifted to 7:35AM.  One cup of coffee, retrieve newspaper for my wife, attention to my indoor plants on scheduled days, then about a half hour to get dressed, prepare lunch on Thursdays, review my day if outlined the night before, make an insulated mug of coffee before heading to the driveway at 8:25AM, which would give me enough time to sip from the mug and greet an old friend or two in the auditorium, then settling down for my morning class.

It has a beneficial purpose, but a few weeks into the adapted schedule, I feel its effects.  Legs sore, slightly tired, not always able to squeeze a breakfast together before leaving the house, something I had been doing as an initiative with reasonable success while still on OLLI intercession.  I do not feel particularly tired before my computer or desk clock reaches treadmill time.  And I don't struggle with the session.  But I also have not noticed the traditional benefits of regular exercise at appropriate capacity.  My ability to increase the treadmill rate and duration has not happened.  My muscles sometimes ache.  Knees feel like they have been stressed.  Stretching, which I schedule twice a week, has found my capacity deteriorating.

I sleep better.  I've been perhaps a tad more energetic in the late morning, though hurting by midday.  And being among people, even interacting with a mixture of strangers and friends, has improved my lingering feeling of loneliness.  So I'm not feeling badly with the new schedule, just with some musculoskeletal sequelae of my effort.  

Vacation, with its respite from the schedule, is not for another four weeks, though close enough to anticipate a need for some new scenery and new people.  And at the end of each month I afford myself three consecutive days off the treadmill for my legs to recover.  It has been gratifying to display what some might call grit, doing what I set out to do despite its discomfort.  Though the health benefits and social benefits come at the neglect of some of my mental activity, as my commitment to the things I create has fallen behind.  Now that sleep and exercise are reasonably committed and executed, I can make a similar commitment to perhaps some fixed writing and expression times.

New Schedule

First week of this semester's Osher Institute.  Have been off about 7 weeks. Previous semester only one in-person 9AM class.  I requested seven classes this semester, all 7 first half, 5 second half. Despite overwhelming registration, the computer algorithm found a place for me in all seven.  And six meet in person.  Every day except Wednesday, I have a 9AM on-site starting time.  On Thursday afternoon I have a gap followed by a second class from 12:45 to 2PM the first five weeks.  That makes for some adaptations on my part.  Allowing for traffic, the drive in each direction plus parking and walking to the entrance comes to about 25 minutes, so it does not pay to add another full round trip between classes on Thursdays.  And my scheduled exercise times run 8:15-8:45 two days of three.

Some decisions needed to be made.  I moved exercise to 7:35 on the scheduled mornings of 9AM classes.  Did that on Monday and Thursday, cutting speed and duration a little on Monday, keeping speed but cutting three minutes of duration on Thursday.  I performed adequately, but definitely not my customary rhythm.  It made my legs sore.  It made me eager for an afternoon snooze that morning coffee could not offset.  And it put me to bed earlier than Sleep Hygiene standards would recommend.

And there are nutritional concerns.  While off, I made myself coffee in the Keurig machine each morning, took my morning pills, typed on the computer, made some more coffee, made a calorie decision on the second trip downstairs.  With 9AM classes, the second trip downstairs is out the door.  Some quick first downstairs initiatives still squeeze in easily.  Water plants on Tuesdays and Fridays, retrieve the newspaper from the end of the driveway, finish as many dishes as will fit in the rack.  Then bring coffee upstairs.  The treadmill days impose an uncomfortable deadline.  If I start the session at 7:35 or so, I can go back upstairs in time to get dressed for class, then make a second cup of coffee in a travel mug to sip during my first class.

On Thursdays, I also need to make lunch, as I am on site from arrival a little before 9 until just after 2PM.  Sandwich, some vegetables, a dessert of some type, an herb tea bag. The University contracted with a caterer to sell lunch. While I think it is important that those in attendance support the project, my kosher limitations and the prices of what I am willing to eat are sufficient deterrents.  I found a backpack from a previous Endocrine Society Annual Meeting that accommodates my plastic writing portfolio, laptop, earphones, a pocket for a tape recorder, and an insulated lunch kit, while I carry the insulated mug separately to sip coffee in the morning.  

A week's experience with this has created a needed learning curve.  Morning adaptations seem about right, but I pay a price in fatigue and productivity by late afternoon.  I am optimistic that this is ordinary adaptation, much like would happen at the end of intercession or on returning from a two-week work vacation in the past.  I need to be a more rigid at not taking advantage of the proximity of my bed when I am tired.  I have a recliner in My Space.  And I need to use a timer to keep me on focus for projects that I undertake despite fatigue.  Things seem to fall into place when I do.

There is a one week spring intercession after six weeks of classes.  I have some travel plans that also entail some morning attention to exercise and nutrition, with some recreation thrown in.  It would help to have this guided by a successfully implemented class schedule that can continue during vacation and resume seamlessly when classes resume the following week.

Logistics

My brother-in-law passed away two days ago.  He had a variety of chronic illnesses, some major surgery which, while successful, had difficult convalescence.  Yet he rallied with some permanent limitations.  His limited longevity was expected but the time and circumstances of his passing could not be anticipated.

Thus, we enter a difficult YK weekend.  He lived about 130 miles away but he and his widow opted for funeral arrangements near the rest of their families.  His widow and the funeral director decided on a place and time, erev YK, which is a Sunday.  The yontif precludes Shiva and the shloshim gets halted by Sukkot a few days following.

As the person with the car and the mobility and some activities arranged previously, that leaves me with my share of tasks as well.  I have my big OLLI morning on Fridays.  For Saturday, I had agreed to lead Shacharit, one with a few Shabbos Shuvah insertions that I had not done publicly before but have familiarity with them.  My daughter arrives from the west coast sometime Saturday, arranged long in advance to be with us for YK but she will be able to attend her uncle's funeral.  I will retrieve her from the airport's arrival curb.  My son and daughter-in-law arrive from Pittsburgh on Saturday night.  They will have a car and can get themselves to the funeral.

I do not know where my sister-in-law and nephew will be staying, but a limo from the Funeral Director will transport them to the graveside service.  A kosher caterer will provide a meal of condolence platter which I need to retrieve before the funeral, deliver to my other sister-in-law, then transport some people to the cemetery.  And the weatherman predicts rain.

Some eating and memories at my sister-in-law's house, leaving early enough to assure that I can assemble a suitable meal before YK.  Then Kol Nidre Sunday night, with its various speeches.  I am Torah reader YK morning, something I've done proficiently before and have adequately rehearsed for this year.  Eventually shofar blowing.

My daughter will then need to be transported to the airport, not sure when.  But I'm the one with the car.

If I like anything about retirement, it has been my control over my time.  I have imposed a few timed tasks, when to get up, when it's lights out, my OLLI course selection with meeting times a huge influence on what I take, my morning routine, when and where I want to travel.  Occasionally I will get an invitation for synagogue, which I usually but not always accept.  And shabbos arrives at its determined time.  My life has enough structure with a few things to do each day, mostly in the mornings. Consecutive days of being at this place at this time to do this, once my daily expectation, has become infrequent.  Even traveling in Paris this month, the tour had its schedule, dividing each day into three parts, but I had enough opt in or out choices to remain in control.  For the next few days, I will need to conform to a series of externally created tasks with specified times.  I'm no longer used to this, but up to the challenge.

Serious Scheduling

Getting to the conclusion of the Omer and to the calendar month.  Pretty much every day has some scheduled activity, or quasi-scheduled.  Wife's choral concert, then her choral group's annual meeting for which I agreed to contribute to their pot-luck.  Got invited to serve on an opinion panel at mid-week. Then Shavuot at end of week, with dinner guests for shabbos.  That goes into Memorial Day weekend, with a congregational event on the holiday itself, that I have mixed feelings about attending, as the experience with Chief Influencers has caused me some discomfort.  I'll probably go.  Then finish the month with a doctor's appointment, followed a week later with a trip to San Francisco.  

Those are the appointments.  There's also some food preparation.  Clear fleishig leftovers, food in freezer, dishes and utensils washed, as this week is milchig eating.  Need to inventory ingredients, shop for what I need, as the shabbos dinner takes some planning and effort.  Need to replenish some of my dwindling supply of medicines before yontif.

And not neglect my writing projects or my garden.  And maybe even finish what I need to enable al fresco dining on my underutilized deck.

I can do all this and do it well.

Creating Routines

While I thought I preferred my schedule to look free of time slots, as I designate more times to do specific items, I have more completed tasks to check off my list most days.  My iTouch watch is not a great timepiece, though it is stylish.  It does make me Woke, buzzing my left wrist faithfully at 6:30AM seven days a week with a rare lapse when the battery depletes overnight.  I get up as it is still buzzing for its thirty seconds, drift over to the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom for some dental care.  Coffee comes next along with retrieving the newspaper from the end of the driveway while the k-cup brews.  That's a great opportunity to empty the kitchen recycling box when I go outside.  Weather is not an object.  Then usually some dishes to do from the previous night and check the moisture of my three chia plants.

Take coffee upstairs, review the task list, making any quick additions, then turn on the computer.  Check email and FB messages, then enter a furrydoc.blogspot.com thought and for the last few weeks work on that day's Washington Post free crossword.  Read my daily two chapters of the Book of Mormon, completed this week.  The rest of the time is mine to piddle at the keyboard until about 8:30AM when I return downstairs for my treadmill obligation.  Then something to eat, then get dressed.  Now more unstructured time until my scheduled OLLI classes which take place at mid-mornings the middle of each week.

Time remains unstructured until 4PM when I have been breaking for a mite of alcohol, varying between port, sherry, and since returning from what I learned on the bourbon trail of Kentucky, some spirits on the rocks.  All measured, all with a main purpose of demarcating my day.  At about 5:30PM I make supper, eat around 6:15PM, retire to My Space for more unstructured time plus planning out the next day while identifying three achievements to enter into the orange marble composition book purchased for that purpose until returning to bed, though not to sleep around 9PM.  

Many of these set time routines have been introduced since my retirement, as working imposed its own set of time obligations.  While each of my current designated times contributes relatively little to my most important initiatives, other than faithfulness to the treadmill, they define the times that do not require structure to select the more important items for their defined work on times, often with a timer.  As a result, I seem to flounder less and focus more.  It's been a clear upgrade in getting the most of my waking time and feeling a little better about the things I've done.  Also less harsh on myself for what I have not done.

Places I Need to Be

Having been retired not quite a year, there emerges a tension between a totally open block of time and one that is accounted for.  Appointed times and flexible times seem to come in clusters, this week and last filled with some fixed obligation most days.  This week:

1. Sunday:  Funeral
2. Monday: Shiva visit, Meet with financial planner
3. Tuesday: Platelet Donation
4. Wednesday: Carpenter coming to repair backyard deck
5. Thursday: Trip to NYC to visit friend
6. Friday: No appointments
7. Saturday: Doing Shacharit at shul

For the most part, this seems a reasonable balance between structure and blocks of potentially productive time that get too easily depleted.

I have certain appointments with myself:  exercise on specified days, Sermo on specified days, Facebook on specified days, make dinner for shabbos each week, take my waist and weight measurements each Monday, review the week's parsha online with commentary from two specified sages.  For the most part I fulfill these fairly well.  

What I don't seem to do well is what the most successful among us seem to do without prompting just because they have a compulsion to devote themselves, be it writing, fishing, art, or even work.  Their day defaults to their prime activity.  Mine has no default so I have to compensate with a schedule, a to-do list, and often a timer.