Half-Year Concludes

My life, or at least accomplishment focus, runs in six-month cycles.  I plan each half year in December and June, then proceed.  As this cycle reaches its closing days, some reckoning on how I did and what contributed to the inevitable shortfalls has come due.

Closets:  I had wanted to get my storage options more functional.  While I could pay to have a closet fully remodeled professionally, the expense is not worth it for my closing years in my house, to say nothing of my wife's likely objections to the disruption this would entail.  I regret not doing this maybe fifteen years ago.  Instead, I selected a few closets to organize.  I did OK.  My half of my bedroom closet has usable floor space, cleared upper shelves, and removal of clothing that no longer fits.  The three closets in the main bathroom have better utility.  And the two in My Space, while not complete, now accommodate what once defaulted to the floor.  Not a bad outcome for six months of mostly casual effort.

My Space:  This one I had hoped to complete in its entirety, but I did not really give a full effort until done.  There are usable zones.  Loose items have been boxed.  The corner desk has been made functional.  Books under my control have been designated for donation, though not yet brought to their next destination outside my house.  Not a bad result, and done without the help of a professional organizer.

Write Novel Draft: Began with optimism, closed with failure.  I started by searching the web for how to do this, but got absorbed in the technicalities.  I do not have an outline.  I still would like to write a book in my lifetime but find myself more disheartened than I expected to be.  I have a story that should be told, as all people probably do.  Telling mine should be a primary focus of my effort.  Learning how to do that effectively needs some investment of time, commitment, and perhaps money.

Read Three Books:  My most easily filled initiatives.  One must be traditional, e-book, audiobook.  One must be fiction, non-fiction, Jewish theme.  What I found, though, was an unusually high number of started but incomplete reading.  My willingness to abandon what I started may or may not be a good thing.  I like to have Grit, but plodding through what is not worth completing has some very big downsides.

Visit Three New Places:  Did this and then some, though not entirely with intent.  Went on a short vacation to a new town, toured a museum that I've wanted to explore.  I also found myself at two places locally that I had never entered despite living in my home for forty years.  My branch library closed for repairs, diverting me to a different one.  Nice place but smaller.  Also got invited to a reception at a college whose gates I had only passed but whose grounds and buildings I had never entered.  Neither was particularly memorable, as the new town and the museum were, but they were new to me.

Submit Three Articles:  Past rejections took their toll.  I wrote quite a few pieces, all articulate, all likely to be declined, either because the writing wasn't good enough or the publication was not the right destination for what I created.  In either case, I wanted to approach this project in a more rational way and took some steps to do that.  Yet I remained primarily timid, avoiding the anticipation of rejection and the reduction in self-esteem that it brings.  Be Bold appears on my Daily Task List.  Often I am with people or organizations that I've established some element of rapport.  Not Bold with strangers.

Three New Experiences:  It had been my intent to purchase new experiences.  White water rafting perhaps, maybe deep sea fishing.  Drive cross-country.  Have my hair done by a stylist, though I have had that at low level in the past.  Or after years of unsuccessful fishing, maybe catch a fish.  Or play a round of golf.  Instead, I acquired the experiences but backed into each.  My temporary headquarters library wanted me to pick up a reserved book from their drive-up window.  I had never done that before.  I went to a funeral where the surviving spouse arranged for an open casket ceremony.  I won a raffle.  None intended.

Three Guests in My Home:  I hosted three Shabbos dinners as intended.  All synagogue people.  Unfortunately, I also hosted a Shiva house, also synagogue people.

Join Two Organizations:  One came my way, sort of.  The other came from my responsiveness to an inquiry.  I had become vocal about some of the questionable deeds of Congregational Influencers, including a detailed conversation with the new Rabbi on targeted exclusions of people, with some side comments on what I regard as basic laziness.  I've been among those snubbed, though only selectively.  This fiscal year, they offered me a two-year term on their Board, which I accepted.  My other attachment has been the Osher Institute.  They broadcast to their enrollees a list of committees.  I filled out my three preferences, got three responses, two invitations, and selected the most suitable.

Evenings with Wife:  Recapturing, or really sustaining, courtship and early marriage with my wife has challenged me for sure, and likely her.  Since retiring, I retreat to My Space while she watches movies and MSNBC attacks on a former President who deserves many of those attacks.  While our interests diverge, our mutual affection has not.  Yet we are in the same room too infrequently.  I resolved to set aside two evenings a week to be adjacent to each other, touching each other.  I did OK.  Not perfect.  Room for better consistency.  This one's important.  This one's harder than it looks.

Manage IRA Withdrawals:  Hiring a financial advisor about a dozen years back turned out to be a wise decision.  With the help of a new high paying job which I held for the closing eight years of my career, my savings have grown immensely.  I've not touched them since retiring.  Social security for myself and my wife along with her corporate pension annuity provides us more income than we can realistically spend.  American tax law, however, allows us to to grow our income, though not forever.  This year I must begin withdrawing the minimum mandated amounts from my two tax deferred accounts.  It was my intent not to do the withdrawals until the second half of the calendar year but to decide on the process.  As a federal employee early in my career, I accumulated a small account.  By contacting the agency, I was told it could be tapped passively though it is in my interest to request the requisite withdrawal to avoid having them withhold 10% and reconciling with the IRS a year later.  My private account is managed by the financial advisor.  It comes in two components.  One is a list of charitable contributions I want him to disburse to the various tax-exempt agencies.  I do not have to pay personal tax on those withdrawals.  The rest goes to my account.  I have been keeping up with recording my charitable contributions on an Excel Spreadsheet each month, so compiling a list should not be that difficult.  Then after Thanksgiving the rest goes to my joint account, less what Uncle Sam the Croupier skims off the top.

Health Targets:  I did not reach my weight and waist goals.  I did achieve a BP within accepted medical targets.  Due to side effects of rosuvastatin, my PM cholesterol lowering therapy was amended to atorvastatin.  My cholesterol has not yet been measured.  I am waiting until the proximity of my next doctor's assessment, so I do not know if my lipid target has been achieved.  Despite not reaching the data wish list, I have done an admirable job with scheduled exercise, some favorably revised dietary habits, and good adherence to medications as well as medical appointments.  SMART goal as a Process, done.  SMART goal as Performance fell short in some ways, which is why process is often recommended by planning experts.

So mostly I did well this cycle.  Room for improvement as the next cycle approaches.  Some of the initiatives will be extended an additional six months.  Others are better replaced by new challenges.

Semi-Annual Grid

Roughly two weeks remain in this calendar year.  Each June and December I select twelve initiatives for the six months to follow, doing my best to think in the manner of SMART Goals.  Titles go on the Whiteboard to the left of my desk in My Space, within my direct line of sight.  I did OK this cycle, not great, not poorly.  And not very differently than other end of six month assessments.  Yet the projects selected six months ago, even if not brought to completion in the time frame set, as SMART Goals require, were still the right initiatives.  

So for the last week or two I've been filling out my twelve rectangle grid.  Categories are the same each cycle, taken from a master template.  

1. Health
2. Community
3. Family 
4. Self
5. Frontier
6. Purchase
7. Mental
8. Travel
9. Long Term
10. Friends
11. Financial 
12. Home 

It's a useful template, though as a senior, empty nester, retired person, some categories matter a lot more than others.  My Health comes less under my control.  There is not a lot of future for Frontier.  I don't need to save for any big purchases.  Long term has a limited trajectory.  My finances are what I've made them over a working lifetime, not subject to any serious enhancement, though their management will change as I enter a mandatory IRA withdrawal requirement.  It may be better to have two, even three pursuits in a relevant category and drop one or two which my best efforts can no longer seriously influence.  Yet the twelve block template offers focus.  It makes my thinking orderly.

Each block in the grid has gotten five minutes on a timer.  I can generate a lot of ideas in five minutes if the title of that section prompts the creative sections of my mind to its possibilities.  For most categories my five minute sessions can generate about ten.  Now all filled out.  I need to select only one for each category, if I opt to keep or twelve.  Some coffee at a coffee shop while I sort further.

Semi-Annual Season

Final two weeks of my current semi-Annual initiatives.  About half settled on the next set of twelve.  

My Space upgrade will renew.  I did some, then it petered out, partly by distraction with other things, partly by inability to sustain interest, partly by a mentality of good enough as my desktop, lounge chair, big screen TV, and area to do stretching exercises were all sufficient.  Arrangements to Europe mostly complete.  In the next cycle I will go there.  Dedicated spousal attention could have been better.  That will renew.  Visited daughter.  They each visited me.  Don't think I want to go to the West Coast again in the next six months.  Could go to Pittsburgh, but not really a must-do that gets on my semi-annual projects.  Revocable Trust essentially done with a few loose ends.  In the coming year, I must take IRA distributions, so setting them up will be the obvious Financial Goal.  AKSE participation was a dud.  In fact, I conclude that my best intents were actively rejected by Influencers.  That will not be renewed as my Community initiative, though I've not settled on a replacement.  I read three books, my Self Initiative.  In fact, this is the one most likely to get completed each half-year cycle.  It is so reliable, that I have reassigned it the way I reassigned monthly expense review and gardening.  These are things that I will do anyway even if not targeted among the dozen semi-annual initiatives.  Replaced the Self component with three day trips.  I tend to do these reliably, as two trips to my state's beaches usually take place each summer.  But to have a Day Trip count, it has to include an activity that I would not otherwise do or a place I would not otherwise go.  I entertained guests as planned.  That renews as my Friends initiative, though I would like to expand the array of people I have over to newer friends or perhaps people beyond my synagogue.

My Health Goals will also renew.  Each cycle I have a conflict over whether to settle on performance goals with desired weight, waist, and BP metrics, or whether to do process goals like time and intensity on treadmill.  I opted for performance.  I submitted three articles.  That renews, though maybe to more prominent destinations.

The Frontier has been writing my legacy book.  I started.  I also began acquiring skills.  That renews with the added grit to make it happen.

Long Term was allocated to becoming more adept in my kitchen.  It didn't happen, nor were the attempts very fulfilling.  In my early 70s, Long Term isn't really that long a term.  My end of life provisions are largely set.  I still have a house that my survivors will need to deal with.  Long Term, or really what can I do in six months that plays out longer, will focus on divesting My Stuff, starting with the basement.  I have decluttered parts of it before.  Still, it contains objects that will never have a useful purpose to my wife or me, nor probably to any of my survivors either.  Clearing things out will eventually need to be done.  As much of the onus should fall to me as possible.

So that's the transition.  Community, Family, Purchase initiatives remain unsettled, but in two weeks those three boxes should be filled onto the master sheet, which can then be transferred to the black nylon pouch with pens, markers, and paper slots that I access each Sunday morning to outline the coming week in a way consistent with my aspirations for the coming half year.

Deadlines

As the half-year concludes, I find myself with a few time-defined tasks, some externally imposed, others by my own SMART goals that mandate time frames.  Externally I have two writing assignments due and two doctor's appointments, and a synagogue activity that I agreed to perform at a certain time.  My donations are now overdue but I think I know where I want to send them.  I'd like to finish my audiobook to add to the list of books for the half-year and one more trip to Maryland stands in the way of completing my day trip initiative.  That's a lot, particularly the two writing submissions, but it gives direction to time that could proceed in a less satisfying way.  It is that tangible list of what I've done that generates inner happiness far more than the pleasures of amusement.  So at my keyboard and doctors' exam rooms and a few other places I need to be until the half-year cycle resets next week.

Terminal Amusement

Made it to Dorney Park, likely my last sampling there, maybe any amusement park.  Left with an impaired right lower extremity:  hip, knee, and ankle which will keep me on NSAIDs and off treadmill a few days.  To make the outing adult, and as an alternative to forecast rain, I started with a nearby winery, Vynecrest, which I must have been to before since I have one of their stem glasses in my collection.  Perhaps too generous a tasting.  I could stand at the bar with a total of 8 oz of wine for $10 or sit at a table for $12 which gave a total of 12 oz.  While I could have used the sit down time to work on my upcoming semi-annual projects, that was too much wine.  Even 8 oz I could feel when I returned to my car.  But pleasant wine, and I learned the winery had a retail outlet not far from me if I wanted to buy any.  But the destination for the day was an afternoon's amusement.  And that I got.

Finding the park with the GPS went easily.  Plenty of parking with an exorbitant fee had I not bundled it into a package.  Walk to the entrance did not really require a tram, as none was provided.  There were a fair number of modern buses, not school buses, suggesting that a lot of schools or camps offered a day at Dorney Park as an organizational outing for the close of the school year, an impression confirmed as I encountered teens and some younger without a lot of adult parents or chaperones.  They searched bags at the entrance.  My Swiss Army knife got through.  There is an explicit weapons ban, though no NRA pickets at the entrance, as few of those there vote, and most agree that the park is safer without the weapons.  My day bag and I checked in.  After riding on the Carousel, understanding why it is at the entrance and a lovable classic, I sauntered to guest services which told me how to redeem the unlimited soda coupon that came with my purchased package.  There are soda stations everywhere.  At the first, they scanned my ticket, then affixed a wristband which entitled me to a small soda every fifteen minutes.  I had two sodas and a lemonade over the course of the afternoon, never offered a lid or a straw.  People can also purchase unlimited bottle refills, which have a built-in cap and straw, but for my purposes the perk included in my entrance package went well, though I think the dispensers had a little too much syrup relative to soda.  

Even the carousel challenged by tolerance of rotational motion but I entered another ride next to it that challenged it more.  Sit on small chair, similar to a child's swing set, suspended by a chain.  Affix a safety belt.  Then the ride begins, elevating and lowering the seats while the central hub sets the ride in a clockwise rotation.  My endolymph did not adapt quite as easily as it once did.  Then Choo-Choo train which gave me an overview of what was where.  Next the log flume where I got wet.  Decided to save Thunder Canyon for when I was in the water park, though if you were willing to get wet in street attire, they would still offer you a seat.  Turns out that the access to Thunder Canyon from the Water Park had been barricaded so I never got that thrill.  Found my way to the Whip, one of those classics of my youth.  It's in a far reach of the park, accessible only with a long walk, which I needed.  I expected its patrons to be older.  They weren't, mostly little kids with their dads who are also too young to remember when this ride attracted long lines.  I sat in my car while the electronics moved tie car in its oval and at the end of each oval each individual are made its sudden rotational lurch.  Not a thrill ride then, nor now.  Largely displaced for more adventuresome but safe experiences.

I really came for the Water Park which I did not know how to access, as its entrance was near the park entrance.  Another long walk, this time on an upslope.  By now my right ankle, injured a few weeks before but recovering, was reinjured, giving me a minor jolt periodically.  Some more soda.  Tote bag with aquatics needs slung over my shoulder.  Made it to the entrance of Wildwater Kingdom.  Found changing room.  Found locker, opting to pay the extra $5 and not chance everything not fitting into the small locker.  Took out towel and flip-flops.  Got changed.  Locked valuables, then headed to a place where somebody might have a pen to write my locker number on my soda wristband.  Not easy to find somebody with a pen.  They had a wave pool and some water slides more suitable for the school kids on a day trip and a kiddie area.  Basically Lazy River and wave pool were the only reasonable destinations for somebody old enough to be the grandfather of pretty much everyone else in Wildwater Kingdom.  Put the stuff I didn't want to get wet in a cubicle that depended on the Honor System, waited my turn for a tube, jackknifed myself in the center with a little difficulty, then let the artificial current bring me around the circle.  Pleasant, for sure.  Worth the surcharge for the locker, no.  And I couldn't even access Thunder Canyon's ride from the water park.

A quick step into the wave pool.  Too chilly.

Some lemonade this time, then change back into street clothes and home.

Hersheypark has a lot more grandparents with grandchildren for a good reason, even though farther from NY or Philly for a day trip.  Just not many supplemental attractions around Allentown.  GPS took me home uneventfully except for some anticipated Philly rush hour traffic.  

A Terminal Amusement.  

Transitioning the Calendar Year

Our next two Shabbatot coincide with American legal holidays, Christmas and New Year's Day.  They are also transition points for me personally.  While working, I could expect Xmas to be an active day or weekend, sometimes a long one, taking call for patients who did everything they could to avoid the hospital.  As a result, I always had New Years off, taking it as minor revelry at home with some champagne as I watched the Big Steel Ball knock down New York.  More importantly, it was the first day of my new semi-annual initiatives, which always began a little behind the 8-ball needing some catchup sleep.  So it goes this transition too, though in retirement, Christmas is a day off.  An uncertain shul day, but I have a reason to go this year, even if a personal imposition.  I set my twelve initiatives on good paper in indelible ink with colored gel pens.  I transition the whiteboard after Christmas and begin doing them on New Years.  Some are maintained, some replaced.  While I've focused on weight and waist measurements, this half-year I will be shifting to treadmill performance, the anthropomorphic measurements having remained static for over a year.  I want to be more consistent with expressing myself, usually via writing.  Those projects continue though with a better performance focus and mileposts.  My day trips continue, again with more focus, allowing for an overnight adventure.  My Family Room being a lost cause, I shifted the home efforts to My Space and my gardens.  I've derived benefit from logging expenses, both from the data generated and from my reliability in doing this.  It continues.  I need to do better as a husband, I think, whether my wife agrees or not.  That becomes a focus for the next six months.  I'm satisfied with what I've chosen to pursue.  After months of ennui, I feel more of an inner drive to see what among these I can accomplish and how much satisfaction or frustration each effort generates.

Ranking My Initiatives

As this is one of my two semi-annual planning months, I modified my usual approach a little.  As has become customary, I set up my twelve categories, listed everything in the proper paper box knowing some initiatives are appropriate to multiple categories, the using an Excel Spreadsheet, listed unique projects.  It came to 46, of which I can select 12.  After having the program alphabetize them, I ranked them by importance which is only one of many inputs in choosing which 12.  I insist that whatever is chosen comply with a SMART system:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Relevant
• Timed

Many of the 46 are not, though I don't yet know which.  From that and categories, I should be able to set the final list in the coming week.

Reconsider Social Media

Facebook has again gotten out of hand.  After no Twitter, I'm back to a little Twitter which is limited but slowly accelerating.  Each diverts from things that I want to do more.  As I get to the month of semi-annual planning, starting with how my projects fared for the current cycle, I need to consider how badly I really wanted to do what I affirmed previously and reviewed daily, then take that bucket of time, energy, and resources in that direction.  FB and Twitter are not in that direction. 

Unentitled Father's Day

The Gays get a Pride Month.  Mothers, Fathers, Doctors, and those who Labor get a day.  Up at the specified time for this year's Father's Day.  No real indulgences planned, but I should get a long overdue haircut, if not today, then this week.  It's a treadmill day by calendar.  It's a FB off day by electronic roulette.  And its a do fleishig dishes day because Sundays follow fleishig shabbos dinners.  Don't really feel a need for unique, designated activities or any real or contrived elevation of status.  I'm hardly deprived of opportunities to pursue what I like, though perhaps sometimes deprived of motivation to pursue what I should.  

The calendar usually puts Father's Day at the penultimate weekly planning day for the half-calendar, so my next six months of initiatives as SMART goals get committed to paper.  I did a little better this past semi-annual bloc than most.  Father's Day doesn't change that.  It's more a calendar demarcation point than an indulgent one, as it should be.

Improved Disposition

After dragging a bit, the past few days I've felt inexplicably well.  My daily pattern seems more stable from the awakening of the wrist alarm to a reasonably predictable treadmill time, to that glass of sherry in late afternoon, pills at 7PM, some TV, and finally bedtime with it's ongoing overnight awakening.  I don't feel nearly as tired.  Nor do I feel driven to do specific tasks but I still get more than average done.  What I would think of as recreation, fishing, drawing, day trips and the like haven't happened but I don't miss them.  Social media has come under the control of a daily spin of Virtual Roulette, settling into the statistical average of about half the time allowed.  Yet even when I am ON, I have much less emotional attachment to FB and don't sign into Twitter at all.  I don't feel either driven, nor do I feel guilty for activity shortfalls, yet I've been productive in a gratifying way.  Nuisance aches have not progressed beyond nuisance.  Completion of a set time and intensity on the treadmill takes effort but offers satisfaction at the conclusion, as well as perhaps some well-being that reflects the regularity of age-appropriate exercise extended over more than a year.

My mood has improved, likely attributable to resuming a citalopram tablet each evening.  I'm less frazzled though still remain resolute when I should be.  And perhaps I'm friendlier and more personable, almost like Peter Kramer's description of treated patients in his Listening to Prozac, now thirty years after publication.  

As I focus more on what I might prioritize for the second half of this calendar year, I have no recollection of past moods during planning months and how they might have affected choices.  This time I seem to be pretty mellow.

Failures and Shortfalls

My long anticipated colonoscopy did not go well but offered an important insight.  My label of CKD, that I poo-pooed amid a fairly stable top normal creatinine captured more significance by the gastroenterologist who omitted Mg Citrate from my preparation.  My preparation using primarily polyethylene glycol did not fully do the job so she recommended a second procedure in a year.  But since I had a drop in Hemoglobin which banned me from my valuable role as a platelet donor, she concluded that the marginal eGFR over time was responsible for the borderline anemia, as in not really correctable.  She's exceedingly astute which is why I selected her among my physicians.  A more serious post procedure review of CKD 3a, which is what my lab results show, suggests she is right.  The renal function causes no symptoms or proteinuria but has other considerations, from colonoscopy prep to blood donations.

Need to give it a go again next year and need to give platelet donation another try next month.  

Last month saw a return of graduations with distinguished speakers whose remarks reach public media.  They often talk of failure, which is inevitable, and not just for bowel preps and body parts.  There was also my own limited insight to the significance of my lab results.  The colonoscopy screener and wellness screener asked me about falls, which included one.  I failed to control clutter on my own floors.  As much as I wanted to visit my kids this half-year, that won't happen, nor did my anticipated tour of the Everglades as an initiative the previous semi-annual cycle.  I haven't rescheduled either.

I wrote the things I wanted but stumbled on submitting them.  My weight improved with effort but my strength and stamina did not.  My Great Course turned out not as understandable as anticipated.  My social security monthly calculation fell short of what I had expected by enough to keep my travel or donations less.  No shortage of recent shortfalls, though probably no different than any six month cycle or any portion of my life, which had the success of reaching threescore and ten.

Here's where the college speakers, all of whom had their down moments, vary in their advice.  They agree not to wallow or claim victimhood.  So do I.  Opinions divide on whether to dust yourself off and try again, or dust yourself off and move on.  I cannot reverse my eGFR, nor restore my hemoglobin to blood bank acceptability if that creates the anemia.  Platelet donation may be history for me.  Have to move on.  Social Security will provide what its employees calculate but eventually my IRAs will need t distribute making donations and travel more postponed than lost.

I know where my kids live and have the means to get there.  Those visits will happen, just later than I had hoped.  And I have a laptop with Word plus a creative mind so expressing myself will still happen.  I just need a better grasp of desired recipients.

As a Stanford commencement speaker who moved from top of the world to sudden pre-mature widow in an instant noted, not everything that happens to us is because of us.  And while feeling low comes with the package, there are other parts of the package unaffected by these particular personal failures.  And for the most part, you can dust yourself off, whether you opt to try again or try something different.

With that context, I will need to assess the last six month's blend of accomplishments and shortfalls while I choose activities for the next six months which will also have tasks fulfilled and others not completed.

Creating New Habits

One of the interesting books that I had to wait in a library queue to read has been James Clear's Atomic Habits which explored habit development, its advantages and its impediments.  As I start to select the next dozen projects for the coming half-year, I looked at my daily and weekly task lists to get a better idea of what activities have become entirely ingrained, what get done but not really habitual, and which have defied my efforts or met with resistance.  On Mondays I weigh myself and measure waist circumference, largely without fail, though I do need to schedule these.  Same with checking the oil level of my car on set days twice monthly.  My wake time is set by a wrist vibrator, bedtime by the clock.  My day always begins with dental care, for all practical purposes now habitual.  Treadmill sessions are pretty reliable but need a conscious prod from my conscience.  I take my medicine at suppertime.  Each morning I make coffee, arguably my most truly habitual activity.  Food is off limits from 8PM to 6AM, something done so long and so successfully that it probably makes the grade as a habit.  I check my indoor plants and the containers outside my front door every morning with little prodding.  Dishes in the sink from the night before get washed early each morning.  I retrieve the newspaper from the end of the driveway and deposit it at the front door for my wife's reading pleasure.  All largely now ingrained activities.  It's hard to say how long it took to create these largely habitual activities, probably longer than the three weeks often cited for habit creation.

Some of my initiatives would have gone better if habitual.  Writing times never got fixed.  Even my contractually obligated monthly submission requires scheduling and fortitude.  OLLI classes remain a defined task more than a habit.  I have been writing three laudable activities at the end of each day so appreciation seems to be on its way to becoming habitual, or at least an evening task that I rank higher than other options.  Thursday review of weekly Parsha commentary happens each week, but more as a scheduled task than an automated activity.  It gets done for all practical purposes 100% of the time.  And alas, no truly recreational activities have become inviolable.

As I embark on my annual June effort to assemble twelve laudable goals for the remainder of the calendar year, I need to recognize that none really go without effort, though most can still take advantage of the many things I now seem to perform without much thought.

Next Set of Initiatives

Something that has kept me focused for a while, though not learned until well into middle age, has been to determine long-term and intermediate goals, which for me runs on six month cycles.  I am concluding the last, moving ahead to the next.  Some things went well, particularly those with measurable, finite end points.  One was abandoned.  I waver whether deep sixing it resulted from it not being a real goal, not within my innate character, or just too hard to accomplish.  But it got crossed off with very little attention offered.

This Cycle:

1. Home: Create a home garden
2. Family: Visit each of my children
3. Health: Meet specified weight and waist measurements
4. Frontier: Have first draft of my book ready for editing
5. Mental: Submit three articles to three different publishers
6. Financial: Log my expenses on a specified day each month
7. Community: Engage in two organizations
8. Travel: Visit three historical mansions not visited previously
9. Self: Read three books
10. Long Term: Receive Social Security Benefits
11. Purchase: Engage in two Great Courses
12. Friends: Acquire two new friends.

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Relevant

Time specified

I think all qualify.  Some are easy, some require tenacity.  The right mixture

Transitioning My Year

My respite to the Everglades was prudently cancelled.  I could use some time away, particularly time to fulfill one of the twelve initiatives for the half-year that I set five months ago.  My annual concept of time has a few demarcation points:  The New Year, the two planning sessions that command my attention in June and December, and Rosh Hashana.  Interestingly, my birthday, the landmark for myself has never been one.  There has also been some lifetime fluidity, with the start and conclusion of each school year in the fall and spring, and later with medical contracts that typically begin and end July 1.  But Auld Lang Syne has long since dominated.

I learn that it's not that easy to predict in December or June what I will find myself intrinsically motivated to perform six months later.  The finite, those with deadlines get done, for me this cycle, my son's wedding.  The visit to the National Park could have been done, but found myself risk averse, or at least foreseeing irrevocable regret should Covid-19 devastate my household over a mere personal pleasure.  I allocate a reading target and always fulfill it.  And I made my three intended day trips, with a day's pleasure at each, sometimes getting there and back offering more gratification than being there.  My bedroom, or at least my half, has become navigable and a reasonably attractive destination for sleep, which has also improved with dedication to optimal sleep hygiene.  I did not meet my weight goal, but exercise on schedule with negligible lapses, eat better, and shop for groceries in a way that assists weight control.  I bought and read two subscriptions.  And with some effort, I pay more attention to the progress of my finances.

What has gone less well are the interpersonal upgrades, the acquisition of new friends and engaging in two organizations in a meaningful way.  Covid-19 has posed a real barrier here.  In June

I assumed the worst was behind us, Osher Institute would resume, I could become more of a raconteur at kiddush, or be a presence at the Christiana Care senior physicians group.  None of that happened.  I access electronically, but there is a gap between a screen and a handshake.  I've been there before, of course, we all have.  College and medical school had big lecture classes followed by lonely reviews after sundown.  We also had communal meals, lab interactions, clinic interactions, some small classes.  I never had to watch a lecture on TV but contemporaries at big state universities got their introduction to Psychology or Economics that way.  At Endocrine Society Annual Meetings, we enter a cavernous ballroom with thousands of easily movable, not very inviting chairs while we watch the presentation on the screen nearest our chair.  We trickle in individually, sometimes recognizing somebody we know as we select our seats but never meet anyone new.  At the conclusion we head to our next destination, a mass of people individualized by name tag, but really only part of the aggregate.  It takes a lot more than personal presences to generate friends.  In college or in the workplace that happened by partnerships of various type.  At Osher it happened by random conversations with people seeking out a chair near yours in an open gathering location or by the accident of table seating in the cafeteria, rarely by individual classes.  Covid-19 has really imploded all of this.

Among my books for this half-year was Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand, written about thirty years ago to offer a perspective between the underpinnings of male and female use of language.  She included a chapter on interruption of one person's speech by another.  Sometimes this is highly unwelcome but often it is the essence of connection.  Zoom imposes a formality to speech, much like school where you raise your hand and take your turn.  It is not interactive speech where ideas exchange spontaneously as they would among the informal connections that generate friendship or personal loyalty.  Those initiatives did not materialize, though only in part because of the new reality of verbal exchange.  

Over the years I have paid dues to many organizations, mostly professional, but contributed to few.  It is those few that I value the most and identify with.  Often I am designated as spectator, even with my synagogue, something not very inviting.  I've been to receptions where everyone knows everyone else, usually not eager to add a newcomer or even be on the prowl for talent and willingness to chip in.  I would say our local Democrats function this way.  The workplace was very different.  Everyone there was needed, though not everyone received the appreciation for what they contributed.  Some of our volunteer organizations would do better if they functioned more like the workplace.  Mine have not.

My semi-annual month of review and setting of directions for the next half-year has returned.  Semi-isolation will not change this cycle, perhaps as prevention of severe illness becomes available with immunization, it will the next cycle.  As I look at the twelve categories that comprise my projects, most of my big efforts are completed.  Health maintenance perks along.  My finances into retirement are stable, my family has small transitions, I'm into a reading and learning steady state, I don't need to purchase any more stuff.  I'm short of the interactions with other people, the immersion in the group, moving from spectator to participant.  Covid-19 has been a barrier, for sure, but not an immovable one.

Anthropomorphics

Even though this six month cycle, I set my goal on treadmill performance, I did not ignore the previous health tracking.  Weight and waist size get measured weekly, recorded in a log along with treadmill performance.  As BP has required more medication, I've added BP readings to the measurements and the recording.  While weight has not changed in a few years, waist size has, reflected in suits, pants and shirts that really no longer fit, indeed need to go to donation for dim prospects of ever fitting again.

Like most people whose physical enlargement catches their attention, I share a frustration of correction being refractory to expected, though never extreme, interventions.  The interventions, at least on the dietary side, never achieve consistency.  My ability to do 25 minutes on the treadmill with reasonable consistency doesn't change the measurements but I feel accomplished when each preset session reaches its conclusion.  

This month I set my goals for the next six months, invariably including at least one related to my health.  Bodily measurements seem a lost cause.

Free Audiobooks

Each half year I set a reading quota:  One novel, One non-fiction, One Jewish theme.  These are distributed among an audiobook, a traditional book, and an ebook.  Unfortunately the audiobook I took out of the library had at least one defective disc.  I have one at home which I've never listed to but it would classify as Jewish theme when I really need non-fiction.  Our closed library to the rescue.  They contracted with a service called hoopla to offer four audiobooks per month, or movies or other downloadables, included with library service.

I enrolled and started searching but have not yet found the optimal opus for listening.  Search by topic.  Search by author.  You can even search a collection of Read by Author.  Should be able to find one.  This has been the one category of my 12 semi-annual initiatives that always gets completed.

Did Instead

Like the majority of citizens, I am not an essential worker, though I once was.  That leaves me largely confined to home with a brief respite each day to enjoy the mobility of my car and maybe keep my distance while I cast my fishing line which invariably stays more than six feet away from any bass.  There was an era when my life went from one beep to the next.  I probably would have craved the large open blocks of time then, though the times I had these opportunities, I rarely took best advantage of them.

Now everything is a big block of unscheduled time.  Unfortunately I've never developed any passions which I would pursue in any spare moment.  I am left instead with a list of semi-annual goals, weekly subsets of activity that bring me to those goals and a daily task list, some purposeful, some not.  This becomes the surrogate for focus, which I've never been able to generate unassisted. 

This week marks the midpoint of my half-year's efforts.  I have engaged in some Democratic activity though not in the sustained useful way I had hoped.  I read my Jewish book and listened to a novel on cd's.  I am reading a classing by e-book.  My audio nonfiction book from the library had defective discs but when the library resumes business I can get another.  Garden ready to plant this week.  Treadmill intensity improving.  I am at the distance goal, doing OK with the speed goal.  I am also creating set times to be on the treamill and keeping these appointments with myself.  I fell a little better, though legs a little sore.  I've been on one road trip.  This was the scheduled OLLI break when I would have gone on the second trip.  The pandemic caused a delay, though I hope not an outright cancellation lasting another three months.  I've dabbled with friends but not really nurtured any new ones.  I don't want to settle for e-friends.

The storage areas of my house could be further along.  Key advancement in making the basement functional on tap for this week.  No excuse for not doing this.  Dabbled with cleaning service.  I want the house vacuumed and scrubbed down periodically but I am not willing to pay $2500 a year to have somebody do this and I do not find this a high enough priority to do it myself.   This one probably will not reach resolution.

My original interest in learning about physician burnout has waned.  I have resources that I've not pursued but no serious mentor.  I'll give it some attention later.

Wedding getting iffy, at least the grand celebration.  I can drive to St. Louis if air travel becomes unrealistic.  I had planned to schedule a major trip but not take it this half-year.  I could still do that.  And my enthusiasm for getting my expense report for the past year on an Excel table has petered out a bit.  Have more than enough time, not enough motivation.

So I could have done more than I have so far.  But what did I do instead?  I've slept more.  I've expanded social media a little too much, maybe having to put the brakes on this.  I've thought about myself and what I'd like my legacy to be.  And I choose a few items each day to pursue and have done reasonably well pursuing them. 

Following the Day's Plan

Up on time.  At My Space on time.  Each night, except Friday, at about 7PM I create an outline for the following day.  It is taken indirection from my semi-annual goals with tasks to make them happen.  Then I sleep on it.  The following day, they usually seem reasonable, though I rarely find myself as motivated as I was the evening before when I create the list.

I categorize tasks into Self-Family/Financial/Home Maintenance/Professional, which for me is still things I would do as a doctor.  What I do not do is prioritize within categories.   I look instead, at what can I do quickly now, what can I get rid of so it does not appear on tomorrow's list or even next week's list.  Some things I do not like doing, particularly exercise, but since it is in my enlightened self-interest, that usually gets done.  Tasks that bring me to my semi-annual goals get noted by a highlighter.  It hasn't helped much.  Yet the overriding question always remains, what cna I do right now.  I usually do something.

Resuming OLLI

It's been a great respite, roughly two months long.  Osher Institute follows a University schedule that affords its students a long winter break intended to pursue independent study or work related to study that really cannot be done in the more typical two week winter hiatuses that most university calendars follow.  As post-career students at Osher Institute we generally do not have that future focus, though I'm sure lots of people headed to the warm or traveled to the exotic or made the grandkids rounds across America, something that requires more than two weeks for optimal benefit.   OLLI is unstructured and so am I.  A lot can be done in two months but my own effort was not sustained.  I submitted a few articles, emptied my storage rental unit, visited my daughter, and made some effort to organize my house which could have happened were my effort sustained.

Tomorrow my classes resume, four + Wednesday afternoon Mah Jongg.  None are really participatory classes this time.  Learn about the eye, perhaps understand why I think contemporary Republicanism is an ethical blight, analyze some historical disasters, and go on a weekly scavenger tour of the University of Delaware.  It gives needed structure to the week, which helps when I try to focus better on the twelve semi-annual objectives that I assemble December and June.  Those things need focus.  OLLI helps me get that.

Upper Hall

Among my twelve semi-annual initiatives, the most challenging may be to create a single unified storage system for my house.  Eating the elephant takes a lot of small bites.  I prefer to chow down first where I can see the incisor marks but where a good chomp will not result in emergency dental expense.  That starts with my upper hall, a repository for who knows what.  Since I've been purging for a few few days, it's more like who knew what.  Stuff is arranged in the manner of a galley kitchen with various full boxes and assorted containers lining walls.  I found a lot of books, not that hard to relocate.  I found papers.  Mine recycled, wife's get boxed.  We have assorted toys, to Goodwill if usable, to landfill if broken.  We have unworn clothing galore.  Some type of donation on these.  Wire coat hangers go back to the cleaner.  A few office items best relocated to My Space.  Some unused medical equipment to a nook in my closet.  Two bedtop desks, one beyond salvage but with the missing part that would restore the better one to full use.  And vcr tapes galore that are mostly beyond recapture and not important enough for a time capsule or museum.

Once one wall of the galley becomes blank, I can move upstairs a very attractive bench captured from my old office via storage unit.  It would add character to that wall and allow for some discrete but labelled boxes beneath.  And none of it comes into My Space unless that is the best destination.