Late Life College Mindset

While driving to a doctor's appointment, a top tier cardiologist who I had not seen in a year, I wondered how she would approach me in conversation.  Coronavirus had kept her and her group underworked for months but retirement has kept me underworked for just shy of two years.  How do I cope with not having to show up for work or not having the income that I once did?  As I pondered this while driving safely on the day that coronavirus restrictions were first lifted in a serious way, I saw stores that looked open, though not the ones I typically entered.  The medical building also appeared largely empty.  Yet other than missing my anticipated spring break trip and postponement of my son's wedding, I did not live very differently during the restrictions.  I dined out barely at all, gave up coffee other than made at home, minimized shopping, kept shabbos and yontiff someplace other than shul and really missed none of this.

In effect I had become almost a facsimile of the college student I never really had the chance to be, one with some discretionary money, not burdened by exams or lab courses or grades that will direct my future.  As soon as I retired I created My Space with nice desk, a big screen TV, and a stereo, though with CD player replacing the turntable.  I read books, take courses at OLLI, have a paper due each month for Medscape.  I could eat out when I wanted, had a car to take me where I wanted, spend a little extra on coffee or beer.  I exercised more, took a break when I wanted, read more, expressed an ambivalence for shul by sometimes going voluntarily, sometimes grudgingly, sometimes not at all, rarely enthusiastically.  My Space not only exists and functions, but it is largely personalized with some mementos in my line of sight, good lighting directed where I want it, a white board to my left with multicolored writing to inspire me.  In effect a freedom that arrives late in adulthood, sacrificed for other things more out of fear than greed early in adulthood.

I had to declare a major then, some area of expertise to master.  Now I don't.  I've already mastered a few things, probably more than most college students will in their declared major.  Eventually my classes will resume.  For now it's the eclectic upgrading my mind, socializing more in cyberspace than in person, and with the resources of time and funds to use late adulthood to my best gratification.