Stretching

After years of neglect, my limbs got too stiff and achy.  Need to stretch.  No shortage of videos to guide people at all levels of flexibility through this.  The ones on TV, even on demand TV, tend to run about a half hour.  I needed one that got me started without undue pain in under ten minutes.  YouTube to the rescue.  First session done with my laptop while the NFC Championship played on the Big Screen.  Second session, done a little later in the day than I had intended, but still done, completed on the Big Screen.  That was more satisfactory.

So two days into this I do not feel more sore and I do not feel more limber.  But it's something that needs a set time to do.  The set place, in front of the Big Screen, and the program, the one I just selected, each seem worth maintaining.

Watching Football

Go Iggles. To the Super Bowl.  Go Andy Reid, he's still one of us.  To the Super Bowl.  An afternoon watching football's sudden death series after a season of Mizzou and Iggles, with an afternoon in the minor chill of West Chester University stadium to see the Rams live.  I'm entertained.

Perhaps, rapt in the strategy of each play, time out request, or taking best advantage of the game clock, to say nothing of the athletic talent and painstaking practice needed to express it, I've also acquired at least a small element of becoming a degenerate.  While I wish no player harm, the reality is that too many get harmed.  Each coach presents an injury list to the league and to the media every week.  There are always young guys on that list, some needing expert surgical care and most needing sophisticated diagnostics that cannot be done by the Nurse Practitioner at the bedside.  Kids get hurt doing this, though not without benefit to offset the risk.  Those who make it to the NFL get salaries that they could not otherwise attain.  The college kids, most of whom will not make it to the pros, get their education subsidized if they can take advantage of this, and have a chance at being publicly admired as a BMOC if only for a short time, public recognition that will never come their way again.  And they learn to be part of a team that distributes tasks, as well as to accept their own role, a very valuable experience adaptable to a lifetime in the workplace and in their community.  But at the risk of physical harm while still young, and if prospective data is accurate, physical harm and longevity reduction in the years that follow.

As I watch these games on TV, few quarters proceed from beginning to end without the referees having to stop the Game Clock due to an injury, one always attended by the trainer or assistant functioning as a low level EMT, then off to the Blue Tent which has become football's MASH Unit.  Rarely does the Head Coach join them.  He needs to strategize Plan B with different players whose joints and cerebrum have not yet been jolted.

Unlike Indy or NASCAR where anticipation of fiery crashes have become part of the spectator thrill, football has not yet descended to injury as part of the entertainment.  It is part of the strategy though, very much for coaches who shuffle talent, and for fans who second guess what their coaches will do without having any accountability themselves. Indeed, injuries accumulated over the season may have determined which teams had enough playable talent to make it to a victorious end.  And to our credit, we fans really want our most skilled players back on the field in top form.  So we can make it to the next Super Bowl, or at least be entertained on the Big Screen the next weekend.

Enigmatic Member

One of my congregation's few intriguing members expired at age 79.  I never got to know him well, probably never spoke to him for more than a prolonged greeting, only learned about him from appearance and written snippets, until his passing and funeral.  Yet he fascinated me in life.  In a congregation of mostly perfunctory handshakes with little exchange of minds relative to the immense capacity of the minds that floated around, this fellow, while also perfunctory, had a uniqueness that I let slip by.

I'd not seen him in a few years.  He was an infrequent Jew of Color, though until his funeral not quite sure which color.  I thought he was South Asian, perhaps one of those Jews of India who mostly migrated to Israel after both India and Israel achieved independence in proximity to each other.  Yet he had an Eastern European surname, which I eventually learned was derived from a German town, not a place in The Pale.  His first name was not shared with anyone I knew, I assumed Asian or maybe North African.  And I knew he saw patients professionally, some form of non-physician practitioner.

He came to shul with some frequency, though far less since our congregation sold its building.  I could count on him at Holy Days, nor would it have been unusual to have him among us a few shabbatot each year, at least while we had our own building.  He had been invited to give a presentation not that many years ago on Jews of Color at our annual AKSE Academy series, but weather pre-empted the winter evening allotted for this.  When he came it was always alone.  I knew nothing of his family.  He seemed invariably gracious, perhaps taciturn.  He had his own large tallis which he kept in an embroidered royal velvet bag.  

The funeral proved my assumptions wrong on most counts.  While the origins of his surname were never disclosed, we as an African-American, a native of our state, who in his younger years received appointments as an assistant to high state officials for which African-Americans had not been considered prior to the early Civil Rights era.  He did live in Asia for a while, Sri Lanka and Lebanon to pursue some of his studies.  He lived in other parts of America, Georgia and metro DC for a while, though I thought I had known him through my synagogue as long as I had been there.

His wives, and he had more than one in his lifetime, were African American, resulting in eight children.  He had converted to Judaism, his final wishes to be buried in the Jewish cemetery arranged by the Jewish funeral director.  He had chosen his own Jewish name, with the convert's ben Avraham v'Sarah following the name he had chosen.

At the funeral, the Conservative Rabbi wove together the American Black traditions of the survivors with the Jewish culture as best he could, while keeping the ceremonial aspects classically Jewish.  My congregation was amply represented, as was his family, though we seemed to keep separate from each other.  And there was no mention of what prompted him to seek a place among our Jewish community, particularly the most Jewishly observant of the local congregations.  

So a dignified closing to the life of a very pleasant though maybe subdued personality, some mystery disclosed, other still hidden.

Financial Data

My imprint was to track every penny.  Until I got a regular ample salary, I looked at expenses big and petty closely.  Eventually I could count on a paycheck that exceeded what I desired to spend, putting much of it first into bank accounts, then later into growing investments.  While always frugal, I avoided serious budgeting.  Minor financial reviews came at tax time.  By the time kids needed big tuition, we could pay a considerable fraction with loans for them that would not saddle them forever.

As I got to retirement, hiring a financial advisor in anticipation, the loose data came my way periodically.  Guidance on investments and tax savings, for sure.  Guidance on budgeting or spending never.  Once here, I allocated the Financial category of my Semi-Annual projects to tracking spending, for which I've now completed my third years.  On or about the 17th of each month I log what got charged to each of three credit card statements and my checking account onto an Excel Spreadsheet.  

The figures for 2022 got tabulated.  I spend a fortune on taxes, about 40% of my total expenditures, though some of it was large one-time payments for converting tax deferred IRA accounts to Roth Accounts.  About 12% of my expenses went to contributions, lots of them, nearly all under $100.  Enough to raise a hand in support of most anyone's worthy effort, not enough to make any of them viable.  Health insurance took a big chunk.  While I allocated a lot to entertainment, most of it was not really my amusement.  The bulk was a monthly Comcast Bill assigned to that category, which I think of as cable TV but is really internet and landline telephone access with a certain fraction enabling television.  Seems like more than it really is.

We did not travel a lot, one fairly big trip, though not an exotic one.  Some short car trips with a few nights each at hotels and eating out.  Yet even with this limited indulgence, the total approximated the totals that I spent at the supermarkets and for consumer goods.  The gas stations got about $1000, probably more since when I purchased gas during a road trip, I assigned that gas to travel rather than fuel.  Home maintenance took about 8%.  Having utilities, trash pickup, somebody other than me doing the lawn, some landscaping, pest control, the plumbers.  Hard to tell what would be done by a Homeowner's Association assessment if we lived in one of those sprawls that we encountered on a trip to Florida, but it would be a big assessment.  But I definitely like living where I do even if its upkeep generates a considerable annual expense.  My car payments added up, now about one-third done.  And insuring everything, particularly our health, generated some notable fees.

With 2022 now tabulated, the only changes I would pursue are probably less on taxes, maybe more on travel.  The monthly Excel entries have now come off my Semi-Annual initiatives, though like monthly donations, or gardening, other former targeted tasks that have come off the list, they have become habitual and continue.  New spreadsheet for the next entry.  New folder to keep the paper data.  But no big changes to my standard of living now that I know what it costs to live this reasonably comfortably way.

No Snow

For all the pseudo-attention I've given to having a functioning snow blower, I don't.  I've not gone to the garage to disassemble the engine or follow a YouTube on how to restore it so that it starts when I pull the crank.  Hardly even opened the garage door, let alone take the machine out to where I can work on it.

Despite my neglect, we've had no snow last season or this one.  It's not yet Groundhog Day, and it only takes one blizzard to cover a driveway enough to test my limits with a snow shovel, but so far it's really not dropped below freezing. I do not know if this is really part of global warming, and I have the shovels for when I need them.  And for the really deep snow, it's probably less expensive to hire a removal service than maintain my own gas device, though I've always gotten some satisfaction when I use it.

Maybe the snow will eventually cover my driveway before the next season.

Getting Out

Where might I go, or even want to go?  I've probably entered into that growing cohort of lonely people, seniors whose personal isolation jeopardizes their longevity.  It's been a slow slide with a few demarcation points.  Retirement, while planned, took its interpersonal toll.  At work I greeted many others every single day.  There was work, which itself was interactive, but there was also banter, along with ample solicited and unsolicited opportunities to make a statement directed to a recipient.  I didn't make the kind of friends I could really count on in a pinch, but many reliable acquaintances to exchange professional ideas and personal amusements.  Not that I avoided solitude.  My office had a door which I sometimes closed.  So did my car, which I always closed during the hour and a half each day it took to drive alone round trip between my home and the medical center.  I never felt abandoned, nor did I ever feel the need to seek out new people who came my way passively in significant numbers.  Yet there is a distinction between work colleagues and friends.  When I retired, as fond as I was of the people I got to know, I did not sense deprivation from their absences nor an insatiable need to replace the lost crowd.

After leaving the daily pageant of work, I did not have any fraternal organizations to continue social engagement, other than my synagogue which by then had designated me a talented outlier, more useful than important.  Participatory invitations reflected that, though it long predated my retirement.  Instead, I booked a cruise, my first trip to Europe.  This is also not where one nurtures friends though for one glorious week and a few adjacent days, I had people all around.  Dinner had a fixed group of diners from places that I would never expect to visit.  Tours had buses and guides and lines.  Pools had people of interest in the water and on the chaises.  Glorious but short-lived.  And preceding and following, I would not have described myself as socially deprived, let alone clinically lonely.  

More enduring was the state University's Senior Division.  I enrolled my second semester of eligibility.  In selecting classes, I intentionally spanned the midday break, responding by taking my lunch and a large insulated mug of coffee to sip periodically.  Classrooms were full.  Some of my selections involved writing and critiquing which assured interaction.  But the real benefit to seniors took place outside the classroom.  People populated the lounges between classes, sitting wherever an open chair became available.  We all wore name tags, which enabled conversation, typically about our classes, but sometimes about our avocations.  People ate in the cafeteria, sitting at round tables, sometimes with friends, but sometimes with unknown people who needed an empty space.  And my classes were never cavernous lectures, though special guest lectures could be, so the instructor could be interrupted for a question or comment with some frequency as the class proceeded.

Covid completely undermined the many opportunities for me to wedge myself amid other people.  Those classes just stopped, cancelled by the university.  In person synagogue activities abruptly disappeared.  Those still employed at my medical center had ample numbers of people, many quite ill, but with physical barriers between people not at all conducive to chat, were that even possible amid the volume of sick patients.  My senior medical group, a rewarding source of monthly camaraderie, cancelled its live sessions in favor of Zoom classes.  Probably for the first time, I felt alone.  My car took a daily directed journey once or twice a day circling a few different routes, typically past shopping centers which were open.  I would stop at a WaWa for coffee or occasional soda, only available To Go,  even when the desire to exit my car exceeded any need for something liquid.  The supermarket got visited more frequently for a quick tour, beyond the periodic shopping that I actually needed.  Trader Joe's, my secondary grocer, established limited access which would invariably generate a significant queue.  Sometimes I would put myself on that line mainly to be amid others for twenty minutes followed by a few purchases inside. While those exits from the house became my most sought after daily activities, screens dominated by far, whether social media or my TV or even learning something new on my own.  A sense of loneliness did not happen right away, though.  There were major organizations now sponsoring national and international interviews with public figures or other experts whose stature would previously have made them unavailable to me.  So I took advantage, taking a measure of delight, even, when my name was mentioned by the moderator as the person who submitted a chosen question to the person being interviewed.  I didn't perceive these as loneliness, perhaps, because as a nobody the CEO of an international organization would never invite me to be personally present for a fee I would be willing to pay.

Zoom for things that I would have preferred personal presence greatly changed my perception of where I really desired to be.  Synagogue activities where spontaneity previously enhanced the event, whether committee meeting or class, became more programmed.  And the university senior division's Zoom compensation largely failed its intended purpose of keeping retirees at the top potential.  We had classes, many executed quite well, but once attendance exceeded 20, protocol took over.  No longer could a listener question a teacher's comment in real time, but had to submit the question in a chat box to be conveyed by a class monitor later.  PowerPoint edged out discussion.  Most importantly, there were no chairs in a lounge or round tables in a cafeteria, walks from the parking lot, or even interactive time of any format between classes.  It became very much like watching TV, largely talking heads without any of the sophisticated video documentary re-enactment of modern streaming TV.  Zoom was efficient but not at all equivalent.

Vaccines came, mortality dropped, face mask barriers became largely optional and discarded.  Classrooms sort of reopened, though my medical group of late career physicians did not return.  Worship resumed.  Yet restoration of what was never came.  My classes sometimes had a lot of people, mostly few in person.  Zoom allowed me to take classes from very good teachers who lived 100 miles away, but not to drink coffee with them.  Gathering places, from coffee shops to regional malls gave way to making coffee in the Keurig machine and purchasing worldly goods on Amazon.  And those grand lectures and interviews with movers and shakers, the centerpiece of early covid, have largely served their purpose while the sponsoring organizations harvested my email address acquired in signing on with repurposing for soliciting funds.

That leaves me, and no doubt many others, with fewer hands to shake, fewer people to react to dumb quips, and if longevity research is accurate, few additional years than we might have otherwise had.

Not Signing In

Commitment to myself.  For two days I will not sign in to any social media.  No FB, No Reddit, most of all no Twitter.  Perhaps permanently no Twitter.  Not sure I'd call KevinMD social media.  It's really more of a magazine with essays, More like The Atlantic than like FB.

I've done Day 1.  Almost opened FB inadvertently as it is next to my email icon, but didn't read anything there, other than to note I had two unread notifications.

Not opening these expands my discretionary time considerably.  I cannot say I used the opportunity as well as I could have, though for the most part I have not felt all that well.  I went out for coffee while I worked at what could be a very good piece on my response to loneliness that seems to be catching up with me.  Went to Shop-Rite.  Bought a birthday card.  Probably still would have done these things even with sneaking onto the social media sinks.  And I do feel a little deprived.

See how the second day goes.

Cleaning Refrigerator

It pays to work systematically.  Starting from the bottom shelves, I located a fair number of non-edibile, non-restorable items that used to be food.  Some had mold.  Some had reusable jars, or at least recyclable jars, but I opted just to toss the containers with the food.  Now have lots of room on the bottom shelves.  And I can track what I have.  A few minor things that can be used up, but mostly long term items not central to any meal.  Middle shelves a little later.

Regimenting

Keeping myself to a schedule has largely collapsed since retiring.  I can no longer even get up when the wrist alarm buzzes, though I'm pretty good at dental hygiene, getting coffee, and reviewing my Daily Task List once put myself upright.  Then the days get largely amorphous, lots of things I could do, some notion of priority, but no fixed time to do most of them.  I typically go through the list periodically, deciding what I could do right now, and for the most part pick one.  What I've not done well is decide what I am going to do at 1 PM or any other fixed time.  I much prefer the freedom of not having timed appointments, even appointments with myself, though I suspect the things that have gone best are those when I have some notion of when during my day I will tackle a particular initiative.  Treadmill after coffee, shabbos dinner on Friday afternoon.  Those all get done.  Plan tomorrow, or write in my Hakaras HaTov Log, after supper, weekly YouTube entry Monday after supper.  Those always get done, probably because I have generated an habitual time for completing them.  Probably need to create writing time, work on house time, and some other major categories.  There are now scheduling programs and apps that may make this easier.  I think it will also make me more productive.

Day in the Poconos

Second day of my January outing alone.  Kalahari resort was awesome, its water park not.  My watch tracker counted 13000 steps, a world record for me personally, even with the watch sitting in my jeans pocket while at the water park.  Much of this came from round trips to the parking lot.  First I had to get my bearings in the immense resort.  Then retrieve my tote for the water park, which needed another round trip to the car, as they would not complete my registration without my driver's license and credit card which I had placed in the glove compartment for safe keeping.  Then I realized that I had my good glasses, when I wanted my previous prescription in case of loss or damage on the attractions.  So another round trip.  At least by now I knew the corridor system to minimize time outdoors in the chill.  Eventually admitted, changed, found a home for my tote bag with its contents, but did not do a great job of linking it to nearby landmarks, which left me for a while searching endlessly for the chair near somebody else's rented cabana where I had plopped all my stuff.  Mostly a disappointing afternoon, not at all worth what they charged.  For the Medicare clientele I found a Lazy River, two hot tubs, one with a pleasant outdoor extension, and a brief immersion in their wave pool which fell short of the Atlantic it tried to replicate or other water parks that replicated the ocean more closely.  I left about an hour earlier than planned.  Made it to the hotel.  

The best supper option seemed to be the casino buffet.  As travel expanded in the last half of the twentieth century, the Catskills basically died as a resort destination but the Poconos did a better job at capturing their niche.  The Orthodox Jews were well represented at both the Kalahari Resort and at the Camelback Resort I had gone to on a previous year's outing.  It's a bit closer to Lakewood and the Metro NY population centers than Grossingers was.  There is a single highway that crosses NJs east west dimension that makes car or charter bus travel easy.  And the people seemed pretty prosperous, likely coming here as a short break while still affording themselves something more elaborate while camp takes care of their reasonable number of kids in the summer. Some skiing is nearby, good for day trips from NY, Philly, and probably Baltimore.  And there are casinos, including one not far from my hotel, largely devoid of those young Orthodox Jewish families.

There's probably a dedicated casino culture, now that they have established themselves regionally.  I have only been to the two near me once each, one attracted by the cheap buffet, the other more out of curiosity.  This buffet, on Senior Discount Night, was definitely a best buy for supper.  And if hungry enough, it would be even without the discount.  It is also part of a very large hotel complex.  The parking lot had a fair number of cars, but unlike the Kalahari Resort, not so many as to create a long walk from car to entertainment.  Took off my Phillies cap as their rules require, at least to go past the checkpoint, but put it back on when it became obvious that baseball caps were common and accepted attire.  Offered my ID but the attendant just waved me through.  Followed signs to the buffet, passing massive amounts of mostly empty electronic slots with garish displays.  They had a Chinese game section, but it looked mostly like the other slots.  If there were dice and roulette gambling, they were lost in the glitter.  Seems something of a public waste to have this as the form in which creativity is expressed, to say nothing of America's technical dominance of electronics, mathematics, engineering, business planning, the very things that make America the place people want to be.  And not that many people at the machines.

By the end of supper, a no waste supper that left me with little desire for dessert, I waddled off.  Between the walking, water immersion, immediately completed overeating, I did not feel my best.  I selected a seat in front of a slot machine with a fully unoccupied row.  Comfortable high-backed vinyl swivel seat, and let my Senior Discount body readjust for a few minutes before heading to the short but cold walk back to my car, protected by having the good sense to wear my parka. 

Since my hotel is on a divided highway, on the wrong side of the divider which only allows access to the main road in one direction, the Waze App took me in a circuitous route through neighborhoods largely obscured by the dark.  On the return, fewer turns were needed, really only three once past the casino complex itself.  A rather large deer crossed in front of my car while I stopped in anticipation of the only difficult turn on the way back.  Otherwise, main roads and follow signs.

While not the best of days, as the following day's achiness and slight despondence are probably a direct consequence, it was different from what I would have been doing at home instead.

Leaving Home

A few days of self-indulgence about to begin.  Day at a water park, two nights at a hotel.  Breakfast buffet.  Probably a nice dinner, maybe two, one with craft beer. A winery if nearby. Taking my laptop to do some neglected writing.  Setting aside every household chore, from tidying rooms to tending plants, though I could plan the spring's vegetable and herb gardens.  Leave the financial reviews until I return.  Leave the library book safely next to my bed at home.  Take my cell phone.  Take my medicines.  I think I'll take drawing pencils though not likely to use them.  Harmonica stays home.  

There's a balance between a few days idle and a few days looking to reset.  I'm achy, but don't want to take any NSAID right now.  I'm moody.  Sometimes new scenery and experiences improve that.  Start with a refreshing shower at home, then final addition of contents to duffle bag, then off to WaWa for gas and coffee, then Shop-Rite for maybe a donut, or maybe just the coffee.  Then about two hours of quiet car time.  A small but welcome break.

Packing

 My next trip is a short one, a brief getaway alone to tap my personal Reset Button.  Two nights at a hotel and one day at a water park.  Probably one nice supper at a Brew Pub.  Maybe a winery if one is nearby or en route.  And time with my laptop merged with my mind.  Stuff for water park goes in a beach bag, one big enough for my street clothing to avoid renting a locker if I leave my valuables in the car.  Then in duffle or carryon, a change of clothing, exercise stuff, night clothes, grooming stuff, my laptop, multiple chargers, my daily pills, and maybe every contingency to avoid having to resupply at a Walmart.  An extra of everything in case I spill something.  It will still fit in the carryon.

Pizza Stone

Went to Boscov's and bought a pizza stone for $10.  Always wanted to have a pizza stone.  Don't know if they have utility beyond making pizza, which I'd like to do this winter.  Hopefully they are multitaskers, but if not I can become like the Home Ec girls of Kakiat Junior High and make a pizza.  Going out for pizza has been a disappointment of late.  The independents are pretty much gone, leaving the choices to either large or regional chains.  Also don't know how much maintenance a pizza stone needs.  Hopefully just a periodic wash.  Haven't opened the box yet.  It might have instructions for maintenance.  And it will be designated milchig.

Escaping the Nudgy Tasks

Tis the week I set aside for a little isolated Me Time.  I definitely want to get away, though not as forcefully as when I escaped to Penn State or Camelback in previous years.  I've picked a recreation destination and a hotel not far away which has what I need to seek one notch short of my highest level of amusement.  It also, in exchange for recreation, bypasses what I could be doing instead at home.  And I don't quite feel my best.  The non-refundable nature of the reservations makes me want to delay another day, but the water park and hotel would each like to have my business.

And then there are other things, few of them semi-Annual initiatives though some are, that crop up.  Have to help out at shul at beginning of week and for shabbos.  Need to sign some financial papers.  There's an Education Committee event that my wife is running so I need to be prepared and present for that.  My financial advisor sent me a summary of the new rules for the calendar year, a few of which affect me so I better familiarize myself with them.  The library secured one of the two books I reserved, so start that, even though I do not want to take it with me on my getaway.  And OLLI has some minicourses that look inviting, though not essential.  All stuff to work around my days allotted to Leave Me Alone.  While some household chores appear on my list, I'm feeling indifferent to most this week.

See if I feel better later today.  If so, make the reservations for later in the week.

My Rabbinical Druthers

 Shtai Rabanim lashevet b-ambatiyah.  v Rav rishon omer l Rav Sheni, yo chaver, la-havir et ha-sabon.  VRav Sheni omer lo sabon, radio.

My Ranking for Me:

1. No Rabbi
2. Rabbi from Toronto
3. Rabbi from Long Island
4. Rabbi from Staten Island

Ranking as an agent of AKSE to enhance its future, were I a consultant for AKSE instead of for Me:

1. Rabbi From Long Island
2. No Rabbi 
3. Rabbi from Toronto
4. Rabbi from Staten Island

Some intro to the analysis.  It comes as a broadcast invitation to members, not as a targeted interest in my mind in any way.  And my comments, as thoughtful and detailed as I can make them, come at a disadvantage.  Having spent an estimated forty years interviewing about fifteen patients a day, conversing with colleagues, serving on committees, reading feedback of all types, I am well aware of the disadvantage of delegating to others not of my own choosing the abiltiy to question people, shift directions of conversations based on responses, and functioning as an end consumer in lieu of being a direct participant.  Still, sometimes medical encounters can be brief but revealing.  And those forty years of experience came with exploration of documentary evidence, which overflows for patients and exists in a more limited form for rabbinical applicants and my own congregation.  So with those limitations, on to the reasoning for my choices.

Choosing what I think would give me the best Jewish experience that an AKSE affiliation can generate, I would opt for having no rabbi going forward.  Not leave the position vacant to defer filling it, but really having no rabbi.  Acting as an agent on behalf of other congregants, I'd put this option second, but not a distant second.  Ah, but any macher would tell you that having a designated Rabbi is mandatory, a form of Sacred Cow that can never be schected!  Actually not so.  We've already conducted the experiment.  In many ways, the absence of a Rabbi brought about some of the best of what we have among ourselves.  We have a better understanding of the need to broaden participation, announced by the congregational President to his YK audience.  Perhaps the most visible task of a Rabbi is a weekly sermon.  We now have people doing this who do it very well.  People take their turn studying, if only for a few hours to prepare a talk worthy of a college educated audience.  For me, those Hebrew School flashbacks and InterAliyah Sound Bites effectively disappeared.  When our Rabbi would recite silent prayers for a congregant unable to do this himself, that slack was quickly remedied.  Our Partnership Minyanim have new rules, generated internally by ourselves.  All in a few months.

And guess what, this isn't new.  For myself, and undoubtedly many others, my Jewish high point might have come too early in life, as a university student immersed with other university students.  We had a Hillel or contracted Rabbi for the Holy Days, as we did at AKSE this year.  Everything else happened because the worshippers themselves insisted it would happen.  That's been my more recent AKSE experience.  University Si, Hebrew School No.

But we also have to address that Sacred Cow element, which in some way AKSE has, though indirectly.  At the congregational web site there is a page of congregational history. http://akse.org/history/ What is striking to anyone who reads it, after the retirement of our revered Rabbi Emeritus, the person whose imprint defined who we have remained, his successors do not seem to be important enough to even be named in our narrative chronology.  Were we really Rabbi focused, their legacies would have been promoted as well.  It wasn't.  And one of my childhood congregations also functioned grass roots with learned volunteers.  They had a Mara DAtra, a Rabbi of international stature who was on the Yeshiva University Biology faculty, but no person designated to show up, give sermons, teach classes.  AKSE at its best is really member focused, much like our Hillel experiences of decades past.  We have done admirably without a Rabbi and can continue indifinitely, contracting for High Holy Days or have a resource when halachic questions need both discernment and finality, for which we would be expected to compensate the selected individual.

While it's better to explore ideas than people, we are ultimately choosing from a list, even if expanded to None of the Above.  While my own assessment makes a distinction between what I prefer for myself and my medical imprint of recommending what is better for somebody other than me, both need to be justified.  Don't know if there are right decisions.  There are likely wrong ones.  As a group, all three men can capably deliver a sermon, conduct liturgy, keep track of what page we are on and share that info with people present who cannot, and read an aliyah or more from the scroll, none of which really require a salaried Rabbi.  Not a good source of product differentiation.  I don't know how well any of them would do at conducting a funeral, selling Chametz, or speaking candidly to congregational Officers who challenge or irk them.  We probably all want our Chametz sold hassle free.  But as we learned from the recent Georgia run-off, sometimes we vote for the candidate who will be obedient without resistance when the big boys tell him to do something, sometimes we value independence more.  I'm for independence, though I would guess there are Congregational Influencers who place a higher value on obedience, which is part of the Scout Law, while candor is not.  And the Scouts begin with Trustworthy.

So if picking for myself, Aseh L'Cha Rav as Pirke Avot advises, the young man from Toronto is really the only one I connected to personally.  He has a nimble mind. I'm a sucker for a nimble mind.  Who else would take the name of our congregation and create a source sheet from it? When I listen to lectures by his mentor Rabbi Torczyner of Toronto, a prolific presenter on yutorah.org, he refers to source sheets which those in attendance can read.  My own presentations to AKSE Academy had source sheets.  Everything we try to convey needs a basis.  And finding that underpinning takes some exploration, even if it is our own congregational name.  His instinct to do this and the elegance in which he created this left me impressed, knowing how difficult and time consuming this can be.  He regarded us as important enough to give us something we would not think to do on our own.  So he's my first choice after make a go of it without a Rabbi.  And he himself has a long audio and visual presentation trail for anyone to access.

Now as an agent of the congregation I would have some reservations.  His background could be judged quirky.  His appearance too, with payos accentuated by crew cut largely covered up by his Frik Kippah.  I was perhaps taken aback by the reticence of those at mincha to interact with him as he presented, though his implicit invitation to do this is easily recognizable to all physicians whose learning is largely interactive.  He has no congregation that he has led before.  And his public trail offers no hint as to whether he will be willing to schect an AKSE Sacred Cow, or how he might either use the authority that the Rabbi has or abdicate it.  But I think he is the only one who really has the capacity to make AKSE sparkle, both internally and as a unique interface with the larger community.  But it's a roll of the dice.

The largest separation between what I would choose for myself and what I would select serving as a consultant or agent of the congregation involved the gentleman from Long Island.  He presented himself on shabbos morning professionally.  He read from the scroll capably, davened with proficiency that I would expect from his simultaneous cantorial education, gave a fine summary of Ki Tetze as a parsha that is dense in mitzvot, and chatted amiably at kiddush.  That's my read of the congregation, that safe scoop of vanilla.  A person who can complete the relentless pursuit of mediocrity, or at least get all the boxes in the formal contractual Job Description checked off,.  I doubt he will ever challenge what the baalebatim order him to do.  Not the real me, but most like my perception of the membership, thus the gradient in what I would choose for myself and what I would choose for the congregation if AKSE were my patient.

The documentary evidence, though, has a lot of red flags.   Comfort comes at a price, sometimes a very big price, if the congregational aspiration is to have a larger membership that is financially self-sustaining.

There is a web site for where the Rabbi currently serves.  The site is more notable for what is not there than what is.  The Rabbi's bio is a list of what degrees he has, not much more than a LinkedIn profile would offer.  What is not there is what he thinks about anything or aspires to for his community.  The site itself pretty much ends in 2016 in any description of what happens there.  Adult Ed, something to the core of what our Rabbi will need to do is "Under Construction".  My expectation of any congregation is that the rabbi be the focus of its mission.  There is a Mission Statement, one that looks outward to the community, participating in relatively perfunctory events like legal holidays and Hanukkah, but little in the way of internal Jewish development of its people.  My expectation is that a Rabbi who has that little presence in his own congregation would be super malleable with us, which I think is too malleable. And not having his presence on his congregation's central internal forum seems neglectful.  On the plus side, his congregational role for women exceeds what we offer.  If we seek to grow, he will not be an impediment to that, though probably not a great contributor either.

There is also an instagram link to a concert he attended as a representative of his congregation in 2021, but again makes no note of his comments to the gathering in his professional capacity.  He received an award for chaplaincy work on behalf of the Orthodox community.  No date, and interestingly, the link was on MapQuest.  And he sponsored a kiddush at a large O congregation in Manhattan for his son's Bar Mitzvah, bulletin dated 2015.

To perhaps put this in some perspective, if AKSE were to ask its VP Membership or Membership Committee to pick 20 members at random and perform Google and YouTube searches on all 20, they would likely learn quite a lot about those twenty people, what they do, what they like, where they affiliate Jewishly and communally.  Our candidate, while he made a favorable impression, never generated much in the way of achievement over an extended period of time.  Can he make AKSE grow?  Doubt it, but I don't think he will offend anyone already here either.  As a result I put him as the default choice if we really need to hire a Rabbi, though a reasonably predictable letdown for me personally.

The Rabbi from Staten Island takes 4th Place of 3, whether selecting for myself or selecting for AKSE's future.  His personal presence, which I experienced at Mincha, fell above threshold.  At his class he seemed less interactive than I would have expected, as the classic Jewish teaching is where one comments and somebody else, teacher or chevruta partner, challenges the comment.  That interaction did not occur in the mincha class or in some brief small talk.  To be fair, that is better assessed at an interview and I could see a candidate who may see himself as being on display wanting not to challenge anyone.  

Cyberspace documentation seems scanty, though not absent.  Much of it comes from his present congregation's web site.  Apparently they have 80 members, which may explain why their Rabbi has another source of income.

Now, with over 80 families in our congregation with new needs and new aspirations for the future, the leadership is once again dreaming and planning for new growth and new directions.

Their congregation also provides a history.  Been around since 1935, homeless for a while.  Their history description stops in the late 1960s.  Apparently their fashion of worship stagnated from there as well.  I do not know whether their membership ever peaked significantly, though the description of the multipurpose building constructed in that era suggests that it's fortunes once included more than 80 families.  But now they are dreaming and planning.

To his credit, the Rabbi makes a statement, reading in part:

What purpose does a traditional Conservative congregation like ours serve? It allows people who, for whatever reason, are not comfortable within the framework of an Orthodox synagogue to still observe in a traditional manner. It provides a setting for the teaching of Torah and traditional Jewish observance that a significant segment of the Jewish community is comfortable with and can accept. Our synagogue is not a compromise. It is an alternative that allows those who choose it to grow and live as Jews, in a way that other variations of congregational life do not.

I would challenge the size of that siginificant segment.  Their demographics and ours suggest that we may need to count more accurately.  Geez, at our own YK services right here, the Women's Section, labelled as such in block letters and set aside to maintain our own tradition was disrespected by our own choir who sat there during the breaks, but would not let the women sing with them. We seem to respect the gender separation as a default, and as the YK episode suggests, not always in the most consistent or respectful way.  https://richardplotzker.medium.com/you-shouldnt-sit-there-9ac90f98352e  This model of worship has been put to the test, and basically it failed demographically, something that reflects in his congregation and in ours, behaviorally if not ideologically.  That's pretty close to a disqualification in my mind, however capably he may personally perform from the bimah or classroom.  It's not where our future lies if the ability to expand beyond people not already here is authentically what the baalebatim aspire to.

There is some other documentation.  In his younger years 1987-1993 he served as Rav at a congregation in Upper Manhattan near the Cloisters, where a lot of people from Columbia P&S live.  That congregation has a few statements of their history, the decline they experienced and the turnaround that they achieved and that we aspire to;

Membership and finances both declined steeply during the 1980s and 1990s, as the generation following the one that founded and built FTJC moved away from the neighborhood. Then, in April 2007, the congregation voted to establish gender egalitarianism.

Our commitment to spirited Hebrew prayer and social inclusion has brought remarkable growth in the past few years. A large portion of the membership now consists of young, growing families whose important lifecycle events, from bris to bnai mitzvot, bring excitement to the whole congregation.

My read:  our candidate presided over the decline and impeded the reversal.  And did the same for the next thirty years.  Probably not a good direction for AKSE to accept.

On my whiteboard, placed within my line of sight to the left of my desk, I keep two lists on the right half.  The upper comes from a graduation speech given to my son's class by Mayor Bloomberg.  Hizzoner asked the graduates to seek Independence-Honesty-Accountability-Innovation.  My asseessment scored three out of four, having been excluded from any meaningful position of accountability by many a Nominating Committee, but the other three elements seem fulfilled.  Below that in Hebrew are the initiatives recommended by Rabbi Sid Schwarz of Clal, editor of Jewish Megatrends.  He advised seeking Wisdom, Righteousness, Community, Sanctity.  I score my comments 4/4

No Notifications

My latest initiative to re-established fixed sleep and wake times has gotten me up and to my screen a little earlier than I had been.  Some coffee, some dishwashing, retrieve newspaper for my wife, then to the keyboard, after I review the Daily Task List.  I'm perhaps a little ahead of those fixed to their social media.  Check email first most days.  No new messages that I didn't already expect most days.  The usual predictable weekly broadcast from my synagogue on Friday, from subscriptions that maintain, some places that think they can get me to donate.  No messages from any people today, and most days.  With this comes responses to r/Judaism comments I might have made the day before.  None today either.  No notifications on FB this morning.  Zero notifications on Twitter.  All opened and closed quickly.

That generates a lot of time that can be allocated to other things, more enduring things.  Twitter basically offers soundbites from people of public prominence, a chance for the nebbishes that most of us are to tell what we think to somebody who would ignore us in person.  Then again, our nebbish ancestors have been writing letters to the White House since there was a White House.  No reason to ever sign onto Twitter.  Reddit and FB have different purposes.  For Reddit, as for most of what I write, I put my thoughts out there and leave them there for others to read, but don't care what anyone does with them.  I never engage in online conversation, though there is some back and forth from other posters.  I also almost never open a comment that contains a link to another article.  I can search the news myself for what I want to read.

FB offers the most complexity.  When I enrolled in 2009, its lure was the ability to connect to people I once knew forty years before who had lived their adult lives with jobs, families, and hobbies.  That might still be its attraction, though much of that has disappeared.  So have the posts from public figures, most of which find Twitter more useful.  Of the last 20 entries on my feed, three come from people I know, six come from entities to which I subscribe, and 11, or the majority, are from unsolicited sources, quotes, animal pictures, publications to which I do not subscribe.  And the three friends, only on a real remnant of my childhood group, do not require any response.  Not a total wasteland but also not the best way to focus my day.

So No Notifications today from anything that I feel obligated to check.  And that's the best score.

Not A Lot Happens

Agreed to a volunteer assignment at OLLI.  Registration for the Spring Semester began a few days ago.  In this day of cyberspace, most people find it more convenient to just open their laptops and follow the instructions.  Even with a lot of experience using the computer, I did not find the process entirely intuitive, so it is understandable that in a population of Seniors, others will find the navigation less than user-friendly.  OLLI anticipates this, setting up sessions on-site during the registration period where volunteers can guide those who seek assistance enrolling.

I volunteered last year, assigned the final session of the week.  Essentially nobody showed up and I left a half hour before closing time.  This year I also got assigned the final hours of the final session.  I anticipate that those who need this assistance have already gotten it, so I suspect I will be something of a Maytag Repairman waiting for nothing to happen.

Being assigned a table, just me and my laptop and a thermos of coffee with no other activity and no place else to go creates its own opportunities.  I can write some of what I wanted to write but haven't.  My Hoopla e-book looks like a challenge to read.  Maybe tackle the long chapter that awaits.  Study the next parsha from my weekly online sources.  Contact old friends by email or social media.  Arrange my next travel.  I can do all these in My Space but distractions abound.  No breaks to put laundry away or tidy my two desks, or print anything.  Just me, my laptop, a few papers to frame what I want to do, a thermal mug of good coffee, and attention to whoever stops by. 

Household Chores

Some days my awake time centers around my mind.  I read, compose prose, do crosswords.  A few focus on my recreation, be it TV time or my garden.  And some days focus on my house, something that will eventually need to be sold when I can no longer manage its space or stairs.  While that will likely go to my descendants, there are things I can do to at least maximize my enjoyment of this lifelong investment.  We need some minor plumbing done and some major decluttering.  Laundry has gotten overdue.  My Space, created with exuberant optimism, needs some revision with time commitment to have it as my best sanctuary.  Not really having pressing appointments today, house upkeep should capture the day's attention.

Not Renewing

In the pandemic, I acquired some new electronic subscriptions.  Prior to that, I wanted to obtain two periodicals as a semi-annual initiative, one Jewish, one Mental.  Thus began subscriptions to The Forward and The Atlantic.  Both are on auto-renewal.  The Atlantic writing has been superb, The Forward more spotty, but good choices each.  I even contribute my own comments periodically to The Forward with responses from their editor or journalists.

The Pandemic also brought a few enticing electronic subscriptions.  I purchased the computer version of Curiosity Stream for a bargain price the first year, slightly higher at auto-renewal but still a good value, though watched less.  And Bari Weiss, NY Times defector, author of a very fine work on anti-Semitism, attracted me with her Substack site, initially titled Common Sense, then renamed to Free Press.  It was also on auto-renew, not really a bargain.  Several months ago I took it off auto-renew.  This subscription expires in a few days.  While it has a few hundred thousand subscribers, enough to hire staff, I find it too much of an echo chamber.  Basically they created a pinata of Progressive ideology and invited readers to poke it with their verbal sticks.  A soapbox for the illiberal.  Not for me.

That leaves me with $50 to subscribe to something else.  Maybe I will, maybe not.

Oat Milk

My coffee needs to be tamed down.  I have tried many additives:  heavy cream, light cream, half-and-half, whole milk which is the default, 2% milk, non-fat milk phooey, pareve Coffee Rich which has gotten hard to find, liquid Coffee Mate and its variants which I stopped buying even if discounted.  And those are the liquids.  I keep a stash of powders, Coffee Mate or generic facsimile, little packets mostly from airline trips which might be pareve but are usually dairy.  And flavorings.  Cinnamon, Pumpkin Spice my at home default, nutmeg, cardamom, chocolate powder, mostly tasteless vanilla powder.  Rarely sugar, and even then only brown sugar, with the disclaimer that powdered lightener probably has sugar too.  Rarely honey.  Stevia, Equal, Agave all phooey but sampled at one time or another.  Even the stuff El Exigente finds too inferior to purchase but I don't can have its limited palatability enhanced by what is at hand.g

I've not had Oat or Almond milk, probably by intent.  But for $1.99 a quart discounted at Shop-Rite, it made my maybe list.  I did not know it came in varieties.  I picked the creamy option.  Container was bottle-shaped, roughly like a liquor bottle with broad round base and narrow neck.  Unlike mass-produced liquid coffee creamer, it did not come in flavors other than vanilla, nor did it have a pouring spout.  You have to unscrew the top each time you want to pour some.

I thought it adulterated the basic taste of coffee.  It may be an acquired taste but I've not yet acquired it.  Don't know how long it keeps.  Since it is made as a milk substitute it may be a multitasker, suitable for quiche or other places where milk appears in the recipe, though I wouldn't consider it for preparations like Horn & Hardart Macaroni and Cheese that require nearly a half gallon of milk.  Will do my best to use this up but it won't be a repeat purchase, even if discounted again.

Too Much Sleep

Accounting for inaccuracies, my Smart Watch totalled my sleep time at 9 hours 33 minutes for the past night.  That's a lot.  I know I have been in bed more, probably sleeping more, and also more tired.  I had been doing rather well for a long time with regimented times, up 6:30AM, Bed 9:30PM, which is still a lot, though not all of it was sleep.  I think I need to reset firm times and do it long enough to become habitual, usually a few weeks, or for now probably the rest of the month.  The wake time of 6:30 should be functional.  I think I will set the to bed time at 10:15PM and the lights out at 10:30PM.

Too much sleep, assuming it really is sleep, correlates with a number of poor medical outcomes, for which the sleep pattern may be more of a marker than a cause.  And bed time may not really be sleep time.

See where it goes for a few weeks, then perhaps some medical assessment if not correcte

d.

Reluctantly Up

Today has a few must dos, particularly as shabbos enters tonight.  Not a lot, though.  Should refill gas tank.  Low on bread.  Should take out anything else trash haulers can remove when they come around, though nothing will happen if it waits for next week's pickup.  Not planning to go anywhere for shabbos, including services.  A do nothing day never really goes well.  Consecutive do nothing days never prove restorative either.  

There are items on my Daily Task List, though I've not marked the ones also on Semi-annual projects with a colored highlighter yet.  

I'm not physically impaired.  A little achy.  A little down, maybe lonely.  Skipping services entirely may not be the best choice, though I really get little pleasure from being there.  Perhaps if I accomplish something important or special today, my mood will get a small boost.  But at least I am now up, with coffee splashed with on sale Oat Milk for the first time, starting a little over an hour late.  And it's not a treadmill day.  As much of a chore as I find exercising, it is also a source of accomplishment.  So is making shabbos dinner, so the by day's end I should have something to show for having made myself vertical.

Out for Coffee

Coffee houses have been places of gathering for centuries.  Partly to get coffee, partly to engage minds.  It's still that way, though in a very different form.  Melitta cones, k-cup brewers, French presses are all durable equipment, with disposable filters and the ground coffee enabling anybody at home to get a decent cup, maybe a second or a third, at a fraction of what Starbucks or equivalent will charge for a marginally better tasting brew.  Unlike 18th Century Europe, or even the current Publik Houses of the British Isles, or even the NYC automats, people at American coffee houses don't really mingle randomly.  Sometimes we come with another person or two for a targeted conversation or to conduct business on neutral turf.  More often these days it's just me and my laptop with the fee for the beverage more a brief rental of space to sometimes connect with individuals or institutions located far from the site, sometimes to do work away from the distractions of the home base.

After some not very effective attempts to tell a story of squandered congregational standards left over from a few months back, I took my fully charged laptop to Brew HaHa, paid the $3 for a mid-sized dark roast, which I spiced with a splash of cinnamon and cardamom, left unsweetened, then placed the device and me at a quiet counter where my front line of sight only had a choice of the screen or an undecorated wall.  And I typed and I sipped.  All background to the story.  Never got to the main point that I want to tell, though I will eventually get there.  And once I do, I will need to edit out the background.  That took half a paper cup of coffee.  Closed the laptop, returned to the car, went home, let the story languish the rest of the day.  Left the coffee to chill in the car's cupholder until late afternoon.  Finished it.

Finish the story today, or at least its unedited draft.

Expressing Myself

Might I seriously consider reconnecting to Twitter?   Or Sermo?  Social media has gotten some justified negative assessments, from time sink, which it is for sure, to swamp of the toxic, to transporting our perfectly agile minds to echo chambers where they can languish.  All true.  But their popularity rests in an inherent desire for people to express what they think in an environment of no personal risk.  Can't do that at work.  Can't just say what we think of our Rabbi or Pastor in an open forum.  Can do that on Twitter.

To construct my day yesterday, I extracted a subset of my Daily Task List to identify how I would like to express my thoughts during that single day.

1. Add to text in the book I committed myself to writing
2. Comment to an author my thoughts on her book
3. Comment on an editorial from The Forward
4. Comment on an article from a subscription that is about to expire without renewal
5. Write a blog entry
6. Comment on a KevinMD essay of my choosing
7. Begin an article on physician retirement that a site invited me to do
8. Finish my article on misuse of synagogue seating during our Holy Days
9. Start my comments on my congregation's Rabbinical future
10. Add my thoughts to r/Judaism on Reddit

Ten worthy forums where I have thoughts.  Ten where I don't particularly care what any reader would find objectionable.  I completed five, worked on two others, saved the other three for a concentrated effort not that far into the future.

Probably should make a similar list every day, and keep score on how well I do each day.

Redeeming Points

During a postal meltdown, my Capitol One bill arrived late.  I paid it with two weeks to spare, but still got a late bill, even though they cashed my check.  I appealed, they waved the fee, but I never used the card again.  I used to use it for professional tax-deductible expenses, which since retirement have been my professional licenses, organizational dues, and a journal, all since absorbed to my usual card.  Now Capitol One is about to boot me out for vagrancy unless I use the card again, which I could do.  But along the way, I've accumulated redeemable points, use them or lose them within the next three months.  Simplest option, a check for $230 and be done with them.  Air fare, though, would be discounted twice that.  And I probably still ought to have a back-up card.  Easiest option may be just to use the card at Starbucks next time, pay the bill, but still redeem the points.  Redemptions have a lot of other options, not yet explored.  Just have to see what each is worth.  I do have some serious travel waiting which could be booked before the redemption expiration, but just see what the other options really are.

Using Timers

How much longer do I need to be in this place where I don't want to be?  Could be class.  Could be work.  Could be meeting.  Early on I knew where the most easily visible clock was and have worn a watch from my grade school years.  Not that I skipped the work.  I didn't.  I just preferred to use class to get an idea of what I needed to learn.  But unless a session was fully interactive, I did not like talking heads, blackboards, and slides.  I mastered the needed material better by studying or working on it independently at my own pace, where I never timed myself, preferring to think instead of the project that needed attention.  I never mowed the lawn or shoveled the driveway for a half hour.  I mowed or shoveled a section, then took a break, looking at the clock when I came inside. For interpersonal interaction, I focused on the exchange, which got me behind in most of my outpatient scheduling where appointments were set by a clock.

As projects became grander, done semi-Annually, often with amorphous steps, the clock gave way to the timer.  My interest in cooking mandated that segments be timed, at least as a guide, whether resting bread dough for its first rise or roasting a turkey.  The clock had less reliability than the countdown timer.  I've bought several.  For exercise, which I made excuses to avoid, the countdown timer made it viable.  I could walk around the block or I could walk on my treadmill for 20 minutes or for two ovals on the distance meter.  I chose time as a preferable metric to distance.

Cell phones changed the landscape a little.  They and PCs come with a timing device, as does my smartwatch.  How to use it in the best way remains in transition.  As I listen to audiobooks on Hoopla, the chapters are timed, so I know when the natural breaks occur or where I left off.  Not so for e-books, which at least have a variant of this in its display of how many pages until the next chapter.  

Still there are tensions between project segments based on performance and those delegated to the timer.  Write a page or write for fifteen minutes?  Read a chapter or read for twenty minutes?  Clean half the kitchen island or work on the kitchen for 20 minutes?  I prefer the timer, but set it as a minimum, continuing the activity if it absorbs me, moving on when the timer chimes if not.  

As I look at what I do each six months, I never quite get my book written or house to sparkle.  An expert interviewed by a journalist from The Atlantic offered a different perspective https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/01/new-years-resolutions-oliver-burkeman/672465/  She recommended setting a time not by session but by week.  So if I want to write for three 50-minute sessions, that's 2.5 hours in a week.  Set that as the timer, then apportion it in whatever suits each session, as long as the total obligation is fulfilled.  That may be a better way to tackle the really big stuff, the book I never get going, the rooms all partially tidied.  I sort of do a variant of that for my project planning, summarizing each Sunday what I'd like to pursue or the coming seven days, though too often without firm intermediate points to check off as completed.  There always has to be a Now, but there can also be a deadline such as by Next Sunday.  The timer works for each. 

I'll try this shift in perspective for a couple of weeks and see how it affects the SMART elements of each semi-annual project. 

Miinor Time Demarcation

Our calendar year has transitioned.  For the most part I have not.  The twelve projects of focus might be a little different in some ways, but not very different.  My weekly activity list this week could be mostly copied from last week's, though the highlighter that I use to mark what comprises a semi-annual project differs.  Mostly I strive to do the same things but better.

One medical license not renewed, the other not to be renewed, though each met the renewal requirements.  My relations with my synagogue remains cynical for the same reason it has been cynical for a while.  Health measurements, reading initiatives, and travel not very different.  Personal relations not very different, though perhaps could be more generous on my part.  Finances not much different.  Desire to express myself mostly the same but with more of a resolve to create some of what I've wanted to do but let languish.  The new calendar year, while somewhat artificial as all cultures with solar calendars designate a transition from old to new in some way, still accompanies a shift in mindset.  Usually, as resolutions, these peter out quickly.  As tangible projects, particularly as continuations of SMART projects whose T=timed did not come to completion, they can be achieved with a few revisions to how they are pursued and measured.