My children and their friends live differently from me. As much as I enjoy going to a big city periodically, and have lived in a few, my upbringing took place in a free standing suburban house designed from an architectural template. My adult life had its base in an even larger home, ample bedrooms, basement, garage, attic. And it filled with stuff that will eventurally find its way to some blend of dumpster and estate sale. A small city sits a few minutes drive, accessed primarily for synagogue and OLLI. A major city, where I can travel for free with my Senior Transit Pass makes for a periodic but random visit, usually to visit a museum or historical site. The city has things that my town does not, but not alluring enough to want to be in proximity. Even in my time in three major cities, my focus always remained school or work, never trendy places to eat. Even for shopping, when I had a car, I drove to a suburban mall.
My children attended school in NYC and StL. They settled and now have families in central parts of SF and Pittsburgh. Their pre-earnings and early career homes were compact apartments, as were mine. Not a lot of stuff. Higher incomes, and now children, did not change that much. Each lives near a main thoroughfare with short walks to places to eat, most inexpensive. Supermarkets lie a little farther away, but are not the regional megamarts that send me their sales fliers in the mail every Wednesday. The streets appear neat, though hardly scrupulously clean. Parking is scarce, driving requires less distance between cars for longer stretches of time than I am used to.
While my son has a town house with ample interior space, very drivable to suburbia, the SF and NY environments of my daughter and her friends require more adaptation. I've stayed with her and house-sat for friends on both coasts. Space utilization requires thought. Two bedrooms, one bathroom. A recent stay in Brooklyn had me walking up four flights, as it lacked an elevator. The apartments, carved from houses, all had strategic designs with nooks dedicated to workspace, a wall transformed to an entertainment zone, kitchens dedicated to food preparation and storage, though not always eating. That takes place in another nook. A massive dining room table with two leaves and a breakfront in a separate formal room cannot happen. I stayed at a duplex in NYC with two outdoor patios, each accessible through sliding glass doors and modified as expanded living or entertainment space. No yards exist, but planters can be placed outside to nurture culinary herbs.
Despite the limited space, by my standards, the people can do most of the things that I do, though without dedicated rooms. They all have large flat TVs, internet access, cooking, small modern appliances, washer/dryers standing atop each other in a converted closet instead of next to each other in a laundry room. What they cannot do, that I can, is accumulate stuff and stick it somewhere. As a result, the smaller living spaces that I visited seem more selective in what they display. A few pictures. Strategically placed flowers. Shelves with books sharing space with knick-knacks. Area rugs on wooden floors in lieu of wall-to-wall.
Perhaps the biggest difference is where you walk or cycle to. From my house, a walk usually has an exercise purpose. In SF or Brooklyn, or even Central West End St. Louis, a walk has a destination, even if not predetermined. It may be specialty coffee, the library, the subway station, or a haircut. Shops along the sidewalk, few with the recognizable from anywhere national chains. Sometimes green grocers set up produce outside their entrances. During the daylight, people walk from place to place, sometimes block to block. Cars some by, speed depending on traffic and traffic signals. Architecture usually has some variation, gingerbread pastels of SF, elegant townhouses and midrises of another era in the Central West End, reclaimed shells in Pittsburgh. Parks and schools with playgrounds interrupt the commercial and residential sections. Churches seem few, but imposing where they occur.
Despite my multiple rooms, as an empty nester, I use very little. Clutter has kept the cars out of the garage for decades, though I do appreciate my driveway. A few blocks from my daughter's SF apartment, there are small single-family houses with downsloping driveways into single-car garages. I have a place where I write, surf a laptop, watch YouTube on a big screen, and listen to a stereo. Bedroom serves mostly sleeping and closet, not requiring much space. Rarely entertain in the living room. Family room is now for my treadmill, something that would fit into My Space if I could get help moving it upstairs. Spacious kitchen and formal dining rooms remain used frequently. And multiple bathrooms all get used. So my kids and their city friends do not seem to be at much disadvantage for living in places that require judicious decisions on what to place where. They still get to do the things I spread out to do. And they have more purposeful destinations nearby.
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