I posted requests on Reddit's r/long island and FB's Visit all 50 States. My wife accepted an abbreviated vacation this summer, with more arduous travel vetoed for now. We opted to visit Long Island, a three hour car trip. I had been to various parts many times, though always purposeful. Weddings, Bar Mitzvah's, Funerals. Visiting my grandfather's siblings, including an outing onto Rockaway Beach. Stony Brook as a likely place I might attend. Tourism only occurred one time when my daughter, who then lived in Queens, suggested Father-Daughter Bonding for Father's Day. She drove me the full length of the Island's North Shore, a very pleasant afternoon, though a lot of time in the car between my round-trip drive home and the east-west dimension of America's largest island.
This time we go as pure tourists. No intention of visiting anyone, though I know people who live there. While residents of Metro NY flock to their beaches, I have suitable beaches readily accessible in my home state. This time we go to get away from home, seek out places unique to the geography and culture of where we visit. Museums, history, mansions, unique sites, wineries. Sources for destinations on The Island abound. YouTube videos, I Love NY, a variety of agencies to promote local tourism, Trip Advisor. I looked at all of these. From them I could stake out the Gilded Mansions repurposed for public use, the distribution of vineyards, enclaves of the nouveau riches of today that might still let a peasant couple gawk from not too close, historical lighthouses, ferry access when an escape might be needed. Like much data, it comes as a mostly unsorted jumble. So I asked people who had familiarity on social media platforms, each trusted from prior use.
People responded very quickly, about a dozen each on FB and Reddit. It made it more of an annotated list, places to give priority when time is limited. In this era of social media trolls, the generosity and candor of those who responded did not surprise me. As much as I ration FB, the assigned days to sign on usually bring me to the Visit 50 States site. I live in an obscure state that people want to cross off their list and in a multistate area where travelers want to check off 4-6 states on their road trip. If somebody asks what to do nearby, I guide them. Often they will post with traveler information, where they originate, ages of kids, elderly people in car with them, pets. I can adapt suggestions to that. What might a grade schooler like to visit, maybe where kids go on our local school class trips? Have they ever been on a subway. Ever seen Amish or Hasidim who live in isolated enclaves? My familiarity can be very helpful, something a generic YouTube or vlog cannot easily duplicate. That insight I offered to posters' queries about where I live now and in the past was reciprocated to me that afternoon.
Reddit, at least when used in my judicious way, has never displayed the toxicity of FB, nor the incessant insertion of advertising or news feeds chosen by an algorithm to make me irate enough to stay logged on. I ration which days I access and mostly what I access. People share my interest in Judaism and Jewish cooking. Many have less experience than me, so I try to be as helpful as possible to people going to the synagogue for the first time or seeking resources to learn more about Judaism. I have had inquiries about a potholes on the roadways and a library misadventure. My questions got many informative responses from civil engineers and librarians, as did my request to enhance my few days on Long Island.
If there is a message from this experience, both as benevolent contributor and reciepient, social media need not be the electronic cesspool that users so often encounter, one dominated by trolls and conflict entrepreneurs. There is business model that capitalizes on exploiting pushing people's buttons, one where some regulation would enhance public experience. Most users, though, when give the chance, come to these platforms with a measure of good will. We find people who seek information, reassurance, guidance through a dilemma, or recovery from an untoward experience. Strangers, whether with names on FB or avatars or Reddit, reach out when we can. We want the other people to have good experiences when they visit our places, whether geographic or places of worship, or from the recipes that challenge them in their kitchens. The users come through on this, creating the expanded communities where people benefit each other. Nothing demeaning, nothing malicious.
To get to these generous people, though, you sometimes have to wade through and set aside some of the odious posters, more on FB than Reddit. Like many people, I read about the downsides of these platforms. Anti-Semitism, neonazism shielded by anonymity, attacks of people's appearance at vulnerable times in their lives. I experience very little of this, though enough to exit all platforms for six months, to ration my presence on my return, and to write off of few platforms as places to not enter. But as a selective tool, people can connect to some very fine people ranging from HS friends who share lives in retirement, experts in various subjects, the people who root for the same teams as you, and people who you will never meet who serve as gracious advisors. It's a challenge to stay selective and not get rattled by the people you'd rather avoid. I haven't since my judidious return, and won't meet any of them either.
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