Transitioning the Year

Most people have found the 2020 calendar year something of an adverse experience.  And from a population perspective it was with global civilian deaths, threats to the primacy of the voters in America, restrictions on travel for everyone, and much loss of personal contact.  It was also a time of innovation.  I can attend seminars with the top minds in the world electronically, previously inaccessible to me.  Scientists who understand what's on those posters that I just walk past at meetings assembled to create a number of intricate immunization options in short time with unprecedented ingenuity to distribute these innovations to a global population.

For me personally, I didn't get real sick, but wondered about it for a few days in April when my sleep pattern reversed and a headache took over, reversing over a few days.  I wonder if I was hypoxemic.  That led to a purchase of a pulse oximeter, which I've not had to use.  I feel good for the most part.  My weight records show about a 5 pound reduction in weight, not change in waist circumference, but pretty consistent exercise performance over the course of a year.  I got away for my son's wedding.  I read more than my predetermined quota of books.  As Zoom enables connections to the world I've signed on my share of the time.

Some fundamental relations are different. My emotional attachment to synagogue has withered and probably won't be restored.  Some people and institutions have demonstrated that while they meet the minimum of B'tzelem Elokim, my respect requires more than the lower threshold. My B-list has gotten longer.  And I have enough stuff, almost enough experiences, so my wants have become fewer.  Some Me Time, Family Time, and a few reliable forums to express myself in a responsible way.

So the world moves from one year, a difficult one, to another with the optimism that it will play out as less burdensome than the last.  It probably will.  I can try to make it a more congenial time in my own way.

Early Awakening

After making great strides this calendar year with better sleep, incorporated as a component of healthier living, a notable but consistent setback emerged in the past month.  No matter what preparation I take, my internal clock awakes me at about 4AM.  It is not nocturia, which has gotten less, but failure to pass from one sleep cycle of 90 minutes or so to the next.  Typically the close of a sleep cycle brings people to a twilight rather than wakefulness.  I do very well with the previous cycles but at 4AM I pass into wakefulness without feeling fully rested.  Indeed, I can fall back asleep but the new waking time takes me past the 7AM latest arising that I had set for myself and was so successful for so long.  And my energy dissipates over the day, inducing a nap which may create something of a viscous cycle.

Reviewing classic sleep hygiene recommendations, I do pretty well though not perfectly both in the habit and environmental guidance. There is a set wake time, adhered to until this setback arose.  I have a reasonably set bed time, though without the ritual of relaxation.  Last caffeine is at noon, last alcohol typically a glass of sherry late afternoon or beer as my supper beverage, never both.  I have not done as well avoiding catnaps or avoiding using the bed for things other than sleep, though I cannot figure out why that would play out as a new consistent pattern of early wakefulness.  I could do better with putting a time cap on the screens though, particularly the smart phone which connects me to the world.  I have set a moratorium from 11PM to 5:30AM with mostly good adherence.  

My sleep environment could not be better.  Light blocking shades work well.  The room is quiet unless my wife or I intentionally play sleep sounds, which are mostly effective at creating sleep onset.  Great mattress from IKEA, down comforter, decent pillow options, smooth sheets, space heater for when needed.  No recent changes in any of these.  

Where I might do better, and once did do better, is not allowing myself to stay awake in bed too long.  If I fail to fall asleep I go back to my Man Cave for some TV.  When I awake at 4AM I accept that, stay in bed, focus on the comfort of being there, even if awake, and wait for the next sleep cycle, even if it ultimately takes me past the set awake time.  I don't know if that's the best course.

Next step seems to be avoidance of the bed for reading or napping.  Give that a go for a month and see what plays out.

Next Set of Initiatives

Something that has kept me focused for a while, though not learned until well into middle age, has been to determine long-term and intermediate goals, which for me runs on six month cycles.  I am concluding the last, moving ahead to the next.  Some things went well, particularly those with measurable, finite end points.  One was abandoned.  I waver whether deep sixing it resulted from it not being a real goal, not within my innate character, or just too hard to accomplish.  But it got crossed off with very little attention offered.

This Cycle:

1. Home: Create a home garden
2. Family: Visit each of my children
3. Health: Meet specified weight and waist measurements
4. Frontier: Have first draft of my book ready for editing
5. Mental: Submit three articles to three different publishers
6. Financial: Log my expenses on a specified day each month
7. Community: Engage in two organizations
8. Travel: Visit three historical mansions not visited previously
9. Self: Read three books
10. Long Term: Receive Social Security Benefits
11. Purchase: Engage in two Great Courses
12. Friends: Acquire two new friends.

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Relevant

Time specified

I think all qualify.  Some are easy, some require tenacity.  The right mixture

Looking Shaggy

Covid-19 has a lot of offshoots, one being grooming.  I've had one haircut late summer, about 4 months ago in anticipation of my son's wedding.  There's not been a lot of incentive to update that, or beard trimming for that matter, which I have done more for comfort than appearance.  In this day of Zoom people can see your head and face, though the default position of my computer camera is to capture me at about the hair line.  I look a little like Wilson of Home Improvement fame who used to approach Tim at the fence separating their yards.  The fence came up to Wilson's eyes and he work a hat so that you could really only see his eyes and hear his advice to his neighbor. 

There are subsets of men who do not cut their hair, most notably Sikhs but also Rastafarians and for the face and earlocks, some Hasidim.  The Sikhs obscure the overgrowth with stylish turbans but typically have chest length beards which are invariably groomed.  The Rastafarians wear knit caps but let the dreadlocks hang loose.  The Hasidim seem to prefer facial shagginess.  

I have no religious justification for excessive hair.  It is groomed with a comb.  And it is far less than what most women accept for their normal scalp growth.  Yet after decades of regular grooming, my scalp hair seems excessive.  I touch it too much, which may be the best signal of needing to get it cut.

Slightly More Motivated

It's been a tough XMas week.  In a funk for a couple of weeks, not irritable but never quite able to get enough sleep.  I have maintained my exercise schedule, substituted one day snow shoveling for treadmill and reduced the speed on the treadmill, though not the duration.

After doing very well with sleep hygiene, my sleep cycle has become aberrant at about 4AM on several consecutive days, not transitioning from twilight sleep to the next cycle but waking me instead.  I get back to sleep but not fully rested by the usual wake time, which I have made a faithful effort to maintain.  

My daily list has a lot of activities, but I find myself focused on the easy ones.  I just don't seem motivated to deal with the more demanding undertakings, whether some scheduled writing or the challenging parts of house maintenance.  There are deadlines, which typically motivate me, or at least prod performance, but intrinsic motivation seems at a lull.  At least today I feel less dragged.

Failing Aerogarden

One among my many horticultural frustrations has been the inability to harvest my aerogarden.  I bought it on sale many years ago, used the seeds and medium that came in the kit along with the fertilizer pellets.  So far so good.  Never got a great harvest.  Subsequently, I have replanted herbs many times, using some potting soil and vermiculite.  Basil always takes root in the hydroponic environment, most other herbs less so.  This time I thought I had it going.  Basil abundant, though tall enough to have the upper leaves singed by the fluorescent light.  Oregano sprouted, parsley OK, dill recognizable, tarragon with full sprouts, coriander failed to sprout.  I watched it, mixed some generic plant food with water in the concentration recommended, and fed the plants.

Today, the dill and tarragon have met their end, oregano less abundant, parsley a little shvok, but basil appeared sturdy.  I assume the additive was toxic, though there might be other possibilities.  Since having optimal gardens indoors and out has a place on the next set of semi-annual initiatives, I will salvage what I can, then after the new year, reassess and try again.

Sore

After some snow shoveling, within my physical capacity, though not done in a while as we've not had meaningful amounts of snow for about two years, I find myself a little achy.  The cars are movable, my upper limbs and back a little less movable.  Interestingly, as I commit myself to exercising on the treadmill two days of three, which may have enabled the stamina to do the driveway as I nearly conclude my 60's, it has been my calves and ankles that have needed the day's break.  Fortunately, chest symptoms, either cardiac or pulmonary, have not limited me, either on the treadmill or on the driveway.

Still I need to deal with the soreness.  After finishing, I took a naproxen tablet, had a small mug of decaf coffee in the late afternoon, took a welcome nap timed to prevent it from extending into a late afternoon's premature sleep, and spent some time in the hot shower at bedtime.  I'm better today, not yet decided on naproxen.  And it's a scheduled day off from the treadmill.

I'm fortunate to still have the physical capacity to do this.  Moreover, there is something a little energizing as I see the various segments of driveway appear with each session, eventually to where I could back up my car into the cleared area to approach an uncleared area more efficiently.  Accomplishments appear tangible, much like washing dishes, less like writing or studying where progress often goes under the radar. Worth the sore shoulders.